Esme Heart
by Trist'n Man'e
Summary: The story of Esme. Her life before she was a vampire, and after she fell in love with Carlisle.
1. Chapter 1

Note: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. They ARE NOT my own.

I have pieced together a history for the character of Esme, based on what's been written and revealed about her, and her prior life. I have tried to stick with the timeline as best as possible. If there is a mistake… it's not a mistake, it's how I meant it. I hope you enjoy.

**This was a good day, I was determined to make so. I had successfully avoided any conversation with mother and father I regards to my matrimony, for today in any case. I made my way back into the house headed toward the stair case. Just as my hand rested on the rail I heard my mother call to me.**

"**Yes mother." I replied turning to see a too wide smile and a gleam in her eye.**

"**Mr. Evenson and his wife will be here this evening to dine with us, their son will be along. I would like you to look presentable." **

**It was a warning, not a suggestion. She glanced at my dirty hand from the garden, and made a tisking sound.**

"**If you must pick flowers, you must wear gloves," She took my hand in hers lightly, "look what you've done" she shook her head, dropped my hand and turned to leave the room. She was planning something again. I went up to my room, careful not to touch anything. I washed my hands in the white and pink basin, catching sight of myself in the mirror. My heart shaped face was marked lightly with dirt, and my carefully coiffed hair was slightly out of place. I took a deep breath and began cleaning myself up.**

"**Dinner was wonderful Mrs. Platt" Charles Evenson praised my mother. **

"**Why thank you Charles how kind of you" My mother said beaming like the sun. "It's such a beautiful evening," she continued "We should indulge ourselves in an evening constitution." She looked over to his mother who hadn't taken her eyes off of me throughout the meal.**

"**Sounds wonderful" Mrs. Evenson replied putting her hands together.**

**I couldn't argue the point of going for a walk, I had to get out of the house or I would burst into flames. Dinner and a show, that would be an evening no one could forget.**

"**I quite like that idea myself." I said standing too quickly.**

**I was at the door before anyone else at the table had even had the chance to stand. I didn't wait. I moved quickly to the porch to breath in the night air. It was much cooler now than the too warm, muggy day had been. The cooled air felt good on my skin. The door opened behind me allowing for Charles to step out onto the porch. I took a step away not wishing to be in such close proximity. Something about him made me feel uneasy. **

"**Our mothers will be joining us in a few moments, they said that they would catch us up." He said smiling "Shall we"**

**I couldn't find an argument, as much as I wanted to. I pretended not to notice him offering his hand and stepped off the porch.**

"**How long have you lived here?" He asked**

"**Most of my life. Yourself?" I replied**

"**A few years now."**

**Our conversation went on like this for a while, I eventually noticed that neither of our mothers had come out to join us. Feigning concern I returned to the house only to find them watching us from the porch. I gave my mother a look of disapproval, and she responded with one of ignorance.**

"**I hope you don't mind," I said, "It was wonderful meeting you, but I must retire, I am quite fatigued." without allowing my mother another word I went inside and made the same speech to my father and Mr. Evenson. I then quickly retreated to my room.**

**The weeks went on much like this. Our joined parents trying to throw us together. Charles was nice, but he just was not what I pictured. He was dark haired and wide eyed with a long face. He had a pleasant smile, and a laugh that made you want to join in. I didn't mind sitting and holding conversations with him, it was sometimes pleasant, but I didn't feel compelled toward anything more.**

**My mother one day decided to make a speech to me decrying my behavior, and making it clear they wouldn't be around forever. She insisted on my settling down. At almost two years past twenty I would be so lucky to find someone as upstanding and charismatic as Charles. My father had begun the silent treatment, it was almost unbearable. The house was filled with tense emotion, and concern.**

**Winter was coming early, fall had barely settled upon us and the weather was making it impossible to go outside. I had spent many more afternoons with Charles and his mother, who found me charming and beautiful to my surprise, playing whist and gin rummy. I was intrigued to find they were moving back to Portsmouth, leaving Charles behind in his new vocation. One of those dreary days I found myself mulling over my options. I needed to put the past behind me, and realize I would never find someone like that doctor ever again. I needed to quit comparing every man I met to him. It had been six years since he set my leg, and stole my heart. His soft cool touch, his liquid gold eyes that burned through me… he was gone. He might as well not be real. He was too handsome, to sweet. Too much of a dream.**

**I needed to live in this reality, and as my parents put it be an adult. Take my head out of the clouds. My friends had long since married, and become mothers, fathers, and some had moved away. Their own world in their own homes. Part of me longed for that, part of me wanted my own life as well. I would have preferred to have my own life out west, in the new lands. I wanted to teach, I had finished my courses, and my path was set. Now my accomplishments were being wasted in lieu of my father's edict. **

"**Out west is too savage a place for a lady." he argued. He made it clear that my going was completely unacceptable. I was stagnant. I acquiesced to my parents desires in defeat. I would marry Charles Evenson.**

**The wedding was set for early December, my mother had everything planned with little asked of me. I hadn't even picked out the gown I would wear, or the meal we would eat. I was more of an attendant than a bride.**

**The day passed in a blur. There was much congratulations, and praise. All the while I smiled and pretended this was what I wanted. In a way it was. I was getting my own life, I was out on my own, in a way, but something inside made me think I'd made a fools bargain. I nodded and thanked everyone, while secretly dreading what would come next. I decided to be optimistic about the whole situation and take what ever came next in stride. I prayed that that mask would hold. After all this is what we do; We live our lives with our husband, we are good wives, we behave with utter decorum and responsibility. That is how I was raised. That is what I would do.**

**I quickly realized I was in over my head. I did all I could to appease Charles, but nothing was ever good enough. I was constantly being yelled at for simple things like not hanging his coat up a specific way, not meeting him at the door soon enough, or being there too soon. There was no pleasing him. Money was always his concern, or so he said. I offered to go to work as a teacher, to ease the situation. This suggestion sent him into a rage, I wasn't expecting what came next. He struck me with all his strength. I found myself knocked into a wall, as I tried to get up he kicked me in the side causing my body to return to the floor. Shame and disbelief washed through my body, the anger and hurt came later.**

"**How dare you suggest I can not provide for my family" he screamed at me. He turned and stalked out of the house leaving me in a heap in the corner. I wanted to cry, but at the same time I couldn't. I couldn't understand what I'd done to deserve such violence.**

**This wasn't to be the last of his physical anger. I found myself in similar situations often. I finally found the strength to speak with my mother regarding the situation I had now found myself in. I showed her the dark marks blooming over my arms and stomach. She shook her head at me. "This isn't good, but this is the way life is. This is the bargain we all make. It's not so bad. You'll be fine." She smiled and ushered me out of the small room.**

"**Maybe you shouldn't do anything to anger him." She reasoned more with herself than me.**

**I couldn't fathom what ever I had done that could've angered him to begin with I told her that. She didn't care to hear it. To her I was airing dirty laundry, and my best bet was to keep mum.**


	2. Chapter 2

**The great war raged around the world while another was being waged in my own life. I found myself grateful when the news that Charles was being drafted came. Many women cried out of fear or anger, I was crying from relief. A part of me prayed he wouldn't make it home. A marriage of two months and a then becoming a widow seemed like a fair trade to me for all the pain I'd had in that short time. I felt heartless for even thinking such a thing, but one of us wouldn't make it out of this marriage alive and I knew it. While he was gone, Charles wrote sweet letter, making it seem like life was wonderful while he was here. He was as charming in his letters, as he had been before our marriage. He often told me how proud he was of me, and how things would be great again once he was home. I shuddered at that thought, but a small part of me hoped it would be. I wanted to have a happy life, even if it was with him. Time went on, and my hope diminished as his impending return came near.**

**The year he was gone seemed too short-lived. I was thankful when he told me it would be another six months before he would make it back to the united states. His letters took another turn, and I was warned to have everything in order when he returned. In my head I was already plotting what I could do, but all my planning came up short. I just didn't have the nerve. He was back by that winter, at first he was quiet and distant. Then he picked up where he left off, with vengeance. **

"**You insensitive bitch," he yelled at me over rearranging the furniture. He then shoved me over the small ottoman breaking a decorative table that was his mothers. "Look what you did you stupid cow." He yelled while I pulled glass from my hand. The living room was covered in broken glass shards and small beads from my necklace. I got up to bandage myself, and felt him pull my hair.**

"**Where do you think you're going?" He hissed.**

**I held up my hand and began to tell him I was going to bandage it. He grabbed where the glass had sliced me, and pulled me down. **

"**No, you're going to clean this up." He demanded. "Then you can clean yourself up."**

**I tried not to let any tears escape as I carefully picked up the many shards that littered the wooden floor.**

**I discovered not long later I was with child. The small being growing inside was already so precious to my heart. I did all I could to protect my swelling belly. One night while he slept I considered ending everything, making it final. I knew that would only cause more problems in the end. I knew he would be leaving for a short trip, that would be my break in the clouds. This was the catalyst I needed to make my move. **

**As Charles packed I stood by trying to help, and look sad that he was leaving. I found him getting annoyed at my presence, so I disappeared into the kitchen to finish preparing dinner.**

"**Esme" he called to me**

"**Yes Charles" I said setting the table. I looked up to see a hesitation in his eyes. I gave my best sad look, and didn't meet his eyes."**

"**Nothing, no mind." He turned and stalked back out.**

**We ate dinner in silence that night. He asked if I would miss him, and I assured him I would. He told I should visit my mother spend some time with her and then bid me good night. He had been gone a little over an hour when he returned he'd forgotten something. He pulled me out of bed to help him find some papers he needed. He said nothing as he left again, he was mad. I laid there tracing the scar on my arm, with a fear he'd come back again. **


	3. Chapter 3

**He didn't come back. I breathed a sigh or relief, gathering my strength and resolve.**

**The snow fell thick and heavy as I made my way to the train station with the bare minimums. Make it look like a short trip. I would go south transfer in Lancaster. The snow didn't let up as I entered the train station, many came in dusted and looking to warm themselves. I waited in the short line among few others, they stood there trying to keep the chill out when the doors opened, but I was radiating warmth within, a sense of freedom on the horizon.**

"**Mrs. Evenson." the gentleman behind the counter looked up smiling**

"**Good evening Jim" I smiled politely back. The horizon a line that disappears as you approach it.**

"**What ever can I do for you this evening?" He was genuinely curious. What ever I said would be relayed to Charles verbatim. Jim was a poker partner for many years, he knew nothing of our home life. Charles was still a charming man on the outside. He wore a wonderful façade. **

"**One ticket to Lancaster please." **

**Jim raised one eyebrow in silent query. **

**My aunt is ill." I said sympathetically, lying "She needs someone to help her."**

"**Would that be round trip?" He asked with implication.**

**My brain worked fast. **

"**Can that be used that at any time?"**

"**Within a frame, yes. Are you not staying in Lancaster?"**

**He was filling out paper work as he questioned me.**

"**She's closer to Geneva, I know there's a transfer." **

"**Would you like a ticket to Geneva as well?" **

**I wondered if he was trying to be helpful or invasive. I pretended innocence. **

"**Oh, I thought I has to wait until Lancaster to purchase my next fare. Well this saves me time in a line. Yes I would."**

**I smiled happily at my little scam. Yes I would go to Lancaster, barring any hindrance I would go west from there to Wisconsin. **

**I took my tickets and sat waiting for the train to arrive. Every so often I would catch Jim looking in my direction with an odd look on his face, I only smiled back, trying my best not to give him reason to think anything was amiss. I patted my small bag and played with my wedding ring trying to look like I missed my husband. I was grateful when the train came to a steaming stop. Through the commotion and noise I managed to find my seat, and breath. The slow start made my heart beat faster as I looked around to see happy families, smiling children a beautiful little girl, blonde and contented with her doll. She sat next to her mother brushing the dolls hair while her mother played with her long blond hair. I could hear them chatting back and forth. The thought of the two gave me hope. I took my wedding ring off and set it on the seat next to me. I stared at the little ring that bound me, and made a decision.**

**We stopped in Lancaster a little over an hour later. I got out looking for anyone who might recognize me. I was clear. I took my small bag under my arm, and headed for a booth. I purchased my ticket, and was surprised to see I would have a little over and hour to wait. I asked for directions to the local shops before heading back into the crowd. I searched out a restaurant, wanting a piece of pie. As I sat eating, I scanned the stores for what I was looking for. What I needed a jewelry resale shop only half a block away. After I had finished eating I made my way through the snow filled street, sloshing as I crossed, splattering my legs. I heard the tinkling bells as I opened the door, a heavyset man stood behind the counter writing in a book. He looked up at me over his rimmed glasses, assessing me.**

"**How can I help you young lady" He asked sounding spiritless**

"**Sorry to bother you sir. I had something I would like to … unload" I said trying to sound like it was nothing.**

"**Hard times?" he said again looking at my attire.**

"**Something along those lines" I handed him my thin gold band and little stone like it was nothing important.**

**He took it in his sausage fingers turning it appraising it's value. He wasn't looking to cut me a deal.**

"**Ten dollars" **

"**Deal" I agreed quickly needing to get to my train. His eyes went wide with the deal he knew he'd made. The ring was worth much more.**

"**Uhh maybe I could go to twelve." he recanted.**

"**Thank you that is very generous." **

**I walked the two blocks back to the train station proud and feeling relief for the moment. I stopped before I'd even reached the platform. A cold chill of fear broke down my spine. Across the street, close enough to call to stood Charlie. His arm was wrapped around a woman, he was laughing with a group of men, he didn't see me. Had he looked up, there was no doubt that he'd know me immediately. I turned, hiding my face, and continued on my path. Tried to blend in. My train was hurdling toward the platform, much to my relief. I stepped up and quickly found my seat. **

**It seemed like the train was never going to move. What was only ten minutes felt like hours. The engines began to chug finally slowly putting the iron horse in motion.**

**Out of the corner of my eye I saw Charles approaching the platform, looking after another young woman. He turned to enter the building, never seeing me. I could breath again.**

**He told me he was headed to Elyria, the opposite direction. I smiled realizing he wasn't the only one who could play that game. I was now on my way west to Wisconsin. There would be two more stops before I would begin my new life. **

**Our new life.**

**It was late in the evening when I arrived in Milwaukee. My cousin Miriam was there with a smile for me and open arms. She was my angel. She graciously welcomed me and made me feel at home. I did all I could to make right, but she would have none of it. We were grateful for each other in more ways than one. Slowly my wounds and soul began to heal. She was a wonderful light at the end of the dark tunnel I'd escaped from. One afternoon that light seemed dimmed. Her mood was nervous, anxious and concern filled her features.**

"**My dear, we have a problem" she confided to me.**

"**What could it be, we can figure it out." I offered trying my best to remain optimistic.**

"**I think not. Esme, your mother has the inclination that you are here"**

**My heart dropped, everything we worked for. **

"**She's planning on 'visiting' me shortly." Miriam continued "do not despair my dear cousin. I have an answer. It just came to me."**

***Note: I wrote this a while ago. It wasn't cut up into distinct chapters. So if it's a little a little out of sorts that's why. I've gone through everything in this with a fine tooth comb, I promise you it's how I meant it. Thanks for the comments, I do appreciate them.**


	4. Chapter 4

I found myself with room and board in return for a teaching position at a small school in Ashland to the north. The prior teacher had to vacate quickly due to a family emergency, and the they needed someone immediately. It was perfect. They weren't thrilled that I was pregnant, but as a 'widow' trying to make her way, they took pity on me. Ashland was a small community, nothing like the city I had pictured in my mind. A nice quiet town with wonderful people. Very similar to the one I had left behind. I had to make it clear I was a widow, so no one asked too many questions for fear of causing me pain. I pretended I was sad at the loss of my husband for their benefit. In a way this was exactly what I wanted. I felt free, and was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my baby. Everyone I met was extremely supportive of me and let me be at the same time. I was happy.

I was cleaning up after everyone had left the class room. It was a nice day, and I was hoping to get to enjoy it a bit more before the moon took over. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach causing me to double over…

After a difficult labor I gave birth to my son. He was quickly taken from me and it was determined his lungs had become infected during the labor. I cried that night and prayed. I prayed with all the strength I had until I could no longer hold my eyes open. I was permitted to return home, but not with my son. He was still suffering the effects of the lung infection, his improvement was slight at best. I didn't dare leave his side unless it was to sleep or change my clothing. They refused to allow me to stay the night, telling me it was for my own good.

I came in early that morning. I saw his tiny frame heaving and shuddering with every breath. The nurses wore masks of stoicism and pain. This whole situation was nothing new, but never welcomed. I held the most precious human being in my life to my body, close to my heart, trying with all my might to give him all the strength I had in me. My attempts were futile. His soul escaped while I clutched his form to me. Shudders racked my body as it sunk in. My whole life, my reason, my hope, my baby….

Everything was a daze as the nurse gently pried my hands off of him. At some point I left the hospital and made my way across the street and past the town to Cliffside Park. I stood looking over the edge to the drop below. I clung to the tree perched at the top and let the emotion cascade through my being.

"My baby" I said to my self over and over.

The sun was beginning it's downward descent, and I planned to go with it. I told myself I would be with him one way or another. I backed my self up, just past the tree. Hurdling myself forward I ran at full speed to the edge. As I raised up to begin my descent something grabbed my foot hindering my motion. A tree root that stuck up at just the wrong spot altered my trajectory. Instead of sailing through the air and finding resolution in the dirt, I tossed and rolled down the side of the cliff. I felt my arms break, my face scrape on the hard jagged rocks, my legs found new discomfort as they were assailed by branches and stone. I felt the brief sensation of flight then a thump of my body landing, I no longer felt my legs, or consciousness.

I knew I was on a hard table, something covering me to my chin, and a sweet familiar smell. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I could hardly breath. My breath was a shallow shadow of it's former entity. Above me stood a dream, my dream. This dream had a sad beautiful face, filled with sorrow and longing.

"Oh my" The dream breathed, it was sweet, it was heaven. The dream put lips to neck and whispered in my ear.

"It will be all right. Everything will be all right."

A piercing pain at the base of my neck sent a shock into my weak body. I couldn't fight it if I wanted to. I welcomed the pain, it was contact with my dream. He pulled back and looked me in the eye, more pain, and a hunting look for forgiveness I didn't understand. Then it all became clear as my the edges blurred and a new unfamiliar pain ripped through my mangled body. No part of me was spared as wave after wave enveloped my being. I felt myself scream out, and then again. My dreams face was in agony, but he never left me, he only held my hand apologizing for the pain and promising the relief I begged for in my head. My lips could not find the words. No, this wasn't right death shouldn't be so painful, I shouldn't feel this burning agony. I must be in hell after my actions, but what would account for my dream holding my hand trying to sooth me. At some point I knew I'd been moved, I wasn't where he'd found me. The nightmarish sensation never left me, never gave way to something softer. I felt as if petrol had been poured upon me, and I was set alight.

Always in the background was a dark pacing figure. Every so often a flash of pained eyes would settle on me. The dark figure and my dream would converse quietly over me so low I couldn't make out their intention.

My body convulsed and my heart stuttered. Something akin to salt water in my wounds washed through me. It was less painful than the fire through my blood ways, almost a relief. My heart slowed and stuttered again.

Thud, thud then a quiver one more thud. The pain was draining quicker. The face above me showed relief, compassion, concern. Thud. Oxygen. Thud. Scent, light. Thump. My eyes opened again. Clearer to the surroundings. What had been a dim room was now lit and bright to me.

"Can you sit up?" He asked

"Am I dead? Am I in heaven?" I asked with a burning in my throat.

The dark figure laughed and my dream from so long ago smiled.

"She remembers you Carlisle" the figure spoke, sweetly kindly.

"I remember you too…"


	5. Chapter 5

**After everything had settled down and I was peeled of the wall, the handsome doctor calmly explained everything to me. **

"**A…vampire?" I repeated slowly. "That's a myth a fairy story, something Bram Stoker wrote."**

"**True." He said obviously re-thinking his approach "But this isn't a trick, or a fairy story."**

**The dark shadow who made himself known as Edward broke in.**

"**That burning in your throat right now." **

**I grasped my throat with both hands as if I could smother it that way.**

"**That's your thirst."**

**I must have registered shock on my face because Edward looked sorry for his words.**

"**Why did you do this to me?" I stepped back into a well placed chair catching my fall. I wanted to cry, but there were no tears welling up into my eyes. Anger surged through me. I couldn't cry.**

"**Carlisle." Edward shouted pulling him out of the way in a blur before I found myself attacking empty air.**

**My eyes grew wide with the realization of my actions, I glanced around the room for an escape. I was embarrassed and furious.**

"**Esme. Don't" Edward said before I had even taken a step. **

**A fresh wave of an anger I'd never know washed through me again. I glanced around the darkened room, we looked like we were underground. There had to be a way out of this sick dream. I ran for the door only to find Edward blocking it. The thin light entered from small windows covered with a black cloth set a light illumination to the room. I found myself surprised that I could see just fine in this filtered light. I was distracted now by the setting of the room. For what appeared to be a basement, it was nicely made up, the heavy curtains that blocked the light were of expensive material. There was a small bed, where my transformation had taken place, it looked as if they were trying to make me comfortable with down pillows and blankets, making it look welcoming even now. A giant cross sat on the floor at the far side. There was a whole wall covered with books, several that had first edition written on their tattered coverings. Even from across the room at only a glance I could see every title and author. I found myself staring at the books considering contents when a voice returned my attention to my previous intention. The door.**

"**She can't focus" Edward explained to the curious look on Carlisle's face. It was like he knew what we were thinking.**

**I looked at the blocked door and wondered how hard it would be get out.**

"**She wants out." He relayed my thoughts again.**

"**Can I show you something?" Carlisle asked sweetly, obviously trying to calm me. "Don't get scared … please" He walked to the far side of the room where a heavy curtain hung.**

**I nodded in agreement, unable to find the words.**

"**Remember, don't get scared." He pulled back the material allowing the room to be flooded with light. I was bracing for the dimming, but nothing changed but the colors. It was then I was drawn to his shining skin. I looked up at Edward in shock, expecting him to be frightened but the same shimmer bounced off of his skin as well. I moved closer, and touched him. I ran my finger down the length of his arm wondering if it was real. I caught sight of my own arm, throwing light in the same fashion, letting out a gasp. I looked up at Carlisle who was smiling warm, sweet and apologetic all at the same time. The diamond shine made him more attractive. Edward chuckled quietly.**

"**This is why we can't let you outside" Edward said.**

"**Why did you do this to me?" I asked in a rough voice.**

"**I'm sorry…" He stuttered trying to find the right words.**

**He was so handsome. I found it hard to be angry at him for very long. I looked into his golden eyes, searching for an answer.**

"**I remember… about ten years ago, I was working late outside a small town in Ohio. It was getting late, a quiet night. A frantic mother and her husband brought in their beautiful, **_**reckless**_** daughter who against her mothers wishes, was climbing a tree. She fell out and broke her leg." He spoke deliberately and slowly "The girl was happy and laughing even though she was in pain. She smiled up at me and told me she was fine, and she couldn't wait to try again… when her mother wasn't looking of course" he laughed and smiled at me.**

"**That was me… wasn't it" I said pulling back.**

**He nodded.**

"**You were so vibrant, and sweet. When I saw you again it was like all of that had been taken from you. I'm sorry, but I felt like you deserved so much more. I thought I could help."**

**I backed up letting the emotions flow through my body, anger, concern, despair, distrust, torment, exasperation and something close to hope . There was no running from this. They flooded my being repeatedly. I didn't know how to handle it. The burning in my throat resurfaced. I wanted to cry again, but still didn't have the ability.**

"**I'll take you hunting as soon as it's dark enough" Edward said in response to my silent concern.**

**I looked up at him, then back at Carlisle, then back at Edward. I silently wondered why it was him and not Carlisle.**

"**He has to work" he answered my silent inquiry. **

"**How do you…." I trailed off.**

"**I'm sorry, I guess we should have explained that as well." Carlisle said as a second thought.**

"**I can… hear what you're thinking…." Edward explained like he was trying not to scare me again.**

"**Oh" I felt like it should concern me more, but if vampires could be real, why not this.**

**He let out a chuckle. I smiled in response to his amusement.**

"**Hunting?"**

**After night fall Edward kept true to his promise. It still surprised me how Carlisle could work in a hospital. Every time a human was within a hundred yards of me, my throat burned like I was a sword swallower and I had a flaming dagger.**

**They both did the best they could to keep me away from the general population, but there's always the unexpected. Hunting was something I had a hard time handling, attack and drain. It wasn't something I ever felt I had been trained for in my prior life. It didn't come easily.**

**I was constantly flooded with thoughts of my past life as well, what little I could remember of it. The one memory that rang clear was of my decision that brought me here. The whole reason I went flying off that cliff. I wondered what effect the action would have on me now. **

"**Not much." Edward answered my thoughts. "Carlisle already tried."**

"**What do you mean?" I asked nervous about the answer.**

"**When he realized…. what he was, he tried to kill himself, with little results. This really isn't my story to tell." He admitted turning away from me. "Talk to him about it when he gets home. Are you thirsty?"**


	6. Chapter 6

**Carlisle arrived home just as dawn broke, always so careful, always so calm. I didn't understand how he managed while I was tearing apart at the seams. I never knew what emotion would flood through me next. It was all they could do until night fall to let me loose outside again away from the general population. Being cooped up began to drive me mad. It wasn't long before they were suggesting that we move to a more secluded place to give me more freedom. I tried my best to rein myself in, but I often flew off the handle for no apparent reason. I felt guilty for this when flashes of my previous life bubbled up. Later that morning Carlisle sat down and discussed his transformation with me. I couldn't imagine the pain that flooded him, and how alone he felt. I was able to see him in a new light. He didn't do this to hurt me, but he was trying to help me. I understood that now, and I couldn't hate him for it. He was hoping some of that lost vivacity would still come through. He never got mad at me, even though I deserved it. Sometimes I felt like he was exasperated with my antics, but he never showed his anger. He did however have to restrain me a few times. **

**As time went on, I began to calm. Little things bothered me less and less, and I was more in control of my thoughts and actions. It no longer felt as if I was being controlled by some alien being. I was also learning how to control myself around humans, ignoring the burn and desire to feed on them. Carlisle and Edward had made the decision to move either way. I had reeked havoc and people were starting to ask questions. They, and I, thought it best to find a new place to go. They didn't seem upset about picking up and leaving their home. I began to feel bad, as if it was all my fault.**

"**We'll have to move either way." Carlisle told me one day "We've been here long enough. Try not to believe it's your actions alone."**

"**But in part?"**

"**Unfortunately. Please Esme, don't place any burden on your conscious. It's time."**

"**Thank you for being honest." I was very grateful for that, and it came as a surprise that I managed to keep my calm throughout the conversation.**

"**Are you alright Esme?" Carlisle asked looking at me intently.**

"**Yes, I was just thinking… realizing really that I must be calming down."**

"**You are, you're doing very well." **

"**Thank you. For everything" I said quietly. "I know I haven't been easy to be around."**

"**I understand. It all has to do with being new to this life, Edward and I weren't any different. As time goes on you will calm down more ." Carlisle explained. "Besides soon we will go somewhere where there are less people, and you won't have to worry so much. After a year or so and we know that you can handle yourself, you're free to move on. I honestly don't ask you to stay now against your will save for your youth, and that we must remain unknown." **

"**Unknown?" I asked hesitantly.**

**Carlisle got a thoughtful look on his face, almost like a memory before he spoke.**

"**Have you heard Edward or I mention the Volturi?"**

**I didn't need to think long to know it was a new subject. I shook my head.**

"**They Volturi are… like the law makers of our world. The first and most important law; Keep the secret."**

"**And if you don't?"**

"**Then they will take your life."**

"**I thought it was hard to die… like this."**

"**Hard, but not impossible."**

**I let that sink into my head along with everything else he had told me. I quickly understood something he said.**

"**Carlisle." I said quietly as he went to his library wall.**

"**Yes, Esme?"**

"**I'm not here against my will. I quite like being with you and Edward." **

**Carlisle smiled wide, showing his strait sharp teeth, and lighting up his beautiful face.**

"**It's nice to hear that. Despite the ravages of youth, I quite like having you around too. I think Edward does as well."**

**I smiled the thought of a little family appeared in my head. A happy little vampire family I thought with a smile**

"**What are you thinking?" he asked looking back at me**

"**Just wondering where we'll go next." I said as it popped in my head.**

"**Well…" he reached up to grab a book "as soon as Edward is home, We'll have a good idea." **

"**He's so young"**

"**He's older than he seems"**

**I nodded in realization that he'd become my guardian in some ways, even now he was trusted with the task of finding a new home. He really was more adult than I gave him credit for. I watched Carlisle work around his library, and felt an odd regard for him, a deep desire to be in his presence. I didn't completely understand it yet, but it felt like it fit.**

**Edward came back less than a week later to tell us about a place in northwestern Montana. It was secluded out in the woods, plenty of hunting lands, and a few small rural places and a miners in real need of another doctor. Carlisle agreed that would be a good place. He especially liked the idea of heavily wooded areas. He was feeling more and more remiss for keeping me in the house all day. I had calmed down enough that I was now trusted to roam the house. Usually with a book in hand glancing over, Edward always kept a close eye on me. He tried not to obstruct me from my queries, he'd often share books, we'd discuss languages, he was teaching me Spanish, and how to play the piano. He was always understanding, correcting my mistakes in a patient fashion. It was all I could do to keep calm until Carlisle came home. I didn't understand this attachment of mine to him, but it seemed to be growing stronger. Edward knowing my thoughts better than I did endeavored to keep my mind busy. I tried to turn my thoughts to our impending move. I asked Edward the same questions every day about where we were going, what it looked like and what the house was like. He exhibited the patience of an older brother explaining the rules of a new game. I felt like a child re-learning my emotions and how to control my self. It became increasingly easier.**

**Carlisle had finished his time out at work while Edward and I went ahead to set everything up. I was enthralled with the house he'd found. It was a beautiful custom farm house with five original bedrooms, two that were converted into offices for Edward and myself. I thought it was a nice gesture for them to have given me my own office. Edward and I shared the second floor, with Carlisle residing on the main floor. In the basement a giant library was set up for the three of us, and there was even a storage for the motor cars. I loved my bedroom, there was a large four poster bed, the kind I'd always wanted, even if it didn't get used, it was pretty to look at. A lovely white vanity sat under the large window. It was light and airy and like a dream. Edward's room was of a slightly darker tone, he had a large chaise, and top of the line hi-fi. Many books and records covered his wall, and a few fine black and white photographs decorated his wall as well. I hadn't seen Carlisle's room as of yet, to me that was still his private sanctuary.**

**I was anxiously awaiting Carlisle's return with trepidation and hope. I missed him, I actually missed him. Carlisle pulled up in a 1924 Jewett four passenger coupe. It was a beautiful, black, with a fifty horse power engine. It was last year's model but… That was all I retained from Edward before my mind was consumed with the glee of his return. Edward sensed I was then a lost cause. I watched the headlights twist up our long drive way, Edward motioned him down the small hill to the car port. Edward and I helped him carry in the few small items he had brought with him into the house. Edward showed him around while I put his belongings away. I could hear their conversation while I retreated up the stairs to my chambers.**

"**She's really missed you Carlisle" Edward told him.**

" **Well, I can understand the familiarity. How has she been?"**

"**Calm. I think she's about out grown the new born stage. She helped me do all this. But I don't think she missed the familiarity."**

**I could hear something in Edwards voice that clicked for him. Some mental puzzle that he'd solved. I wish I could see their faces. Instead I settled for looking out my window at the deep pines that surrounded the house. I wondered what I could do to show them just how much I truly appreciated everything they'd been doing for me.**


	7. Chapter 7

**We had been there about a year when I had every thing set as a surprise for them.**

"**Esme is this really necessary?" Carlisle asked trying to remove my hands from his blind fold. I gently slapped them away**

"**Yes absolutely." I smiled. "I tried to do this with Edward, but I didn't see the point after he told me what I gave him, while he was still blind folded". I whined you're going to let me. He had sat down at the baby grand piano, and begun to play expertly, still wearing the blindfold. He was melancholy over having to let his old one go, easier to sell than to move. **

"**Carlisle let her have her fun" Edward chided his old friend. **

"**Alright" He sighed in jest as he patted my hand over his blindfold.**

**I small spark went through me. I saw Edward stiffen out of the corner of my eye. I wondered what his uncomfort was, he then smiled a wide friendly smile, but I knew something was bothering him. I wanted to…fix it. He smiled again, but more to himself.**

"**Okay Carlisle. I hope you like this." I told him removing my hands and untying the blindfold.**

"**I'm sure I'll **_**love**_** it." He replied kindly.**

**I removed his blinder and allowed him to see the matted canvas before him.**

**He got quiet, and in took his breath. I looked at Edward who was staring intently at his friend.**

"**Um… is it…" I choked out before Carlisle cut me off.**

"**It's beautiful." **

**I smiled at Edward, and him very happy with myself.**

"**It's still life with Roses, painted by Peploe. It struck me and, I thought you might like it."**

"**Oh Esme, I don't just like it, I adore it. It's so …"**

" **Intricate." Edward finished.**

"**Esme, how did you manage this?" Carlisle asked still staring at the painting.**

"**Do you remember my asking you to help me learn to make jewelry Edward?"**

**He nodded silently. Then opened his eyes in understanding.**

"**Well, someone asked to pay my for my work with this, and I was so taken with it I couldn't refuse."**

"**And the piano?" He asked.**

"**That was with the rest of what I had made as well." I told.**

**Edward got stiff, and worried."**

"**What is it?" I asked nervous of his reply.**

"**Esme, you're craftsmanship is beautiful, and intricate, I only worry that someone may… spread word of your talent."**

**I understood exactly what he meant. Being popular, or well known would hardly suit keeping a secret.**

"**Oh," I smiled, "but **_**I **_**didn't make them, I just 'sold' them. The pieces came from France." I grinned proudly.**

**Carlisle caught on to the ploy he and Edward smiled at my deception.**

"**I figured since, anything from France was in vogue, it would suit."**

**Carlisle looked at Edward and back at me.**

"**Esme, darling you are brilliant." he said embracing me.**

**I succumbed and returned the affection. With Edward in reach, I grabbed him and pulled him into the group. I was very happy with my little family, I felt I belonged and with that I grew protective of both men. I would do anything for them.**

**As time wore on Edward became more and more distant. Silence filled him, and he spent many, many hours playing the piano. Carlisle spent many hours at the mines helping the men with injuries, major and minor. He never came home upset, but happy to see Edward and me. I always wanted to know what had happened that day. Just to listen to him, and know he was home safe.**

"**I was in awe, this man Jameson, he wouldn't leave his best friend of twenty years, mind you these men are barely thirty. They knew the detonation was set, and he still went running in after him. When the explosion went, the side of the opening crumbled into dust. I wanted to rush in and pull off the rubble to see how bad it was, but as the dust cleared two men came limping out and two more behind them. Jameson had retrieved, not only Rhars, but two other trapped men. Rhars was just fine, but two men names Whitlock and McCarty were trapped, one with a broken leg, the other with a broken arm and ankle. Those two men saved them."**

"**My god." I said quietly listening to his eventful day.**

"**Yes, apparently McCarty came up here to help his family, but he's going back south after this, he has a family somewhere down south, he has a little boy about ten, and a younger daughter. After he heals, he's going back to, I believe Tennessee. He's a good man. Everyone's friend, always willing to help with a smile on his face, it'll be sad when he goes." Carlisle lamented.**

"**Sounds like you got some good men working there." Edward said quietly.**

**The features on Carlisle's face rearranged.**

"**Oh" Edward mumbled.**

"**Yes…"**

"**What am I missing? Edward silent conversations are rude young man." They both got a sheepish look on their face.**

"**Sorry Esme," they replied in tandem.**

"**What is it?" I asked looking at them both.**

"**Well… There is one man who, he likes to stir up trouble, rub people the wrong way. He does it just to make people mad, he likes the reaction I think."**

**Edward could see the images in his head. I wondered what they were.**

"**What a scoundrel." Edward hissed**

**Carlisle only nodded.**

"**Esme," he turned to me "I have something for you."**

"**What is it?" I didn't believe I had warranted anything, but curiosity got the best of me.**

**Carlisle handed me a drawing pad, pencils, charcoal, and rulers, an essential drawing kit.**

"**What's this for?" I asked staring at the gift.**

"**Well, it's really from both of us. Edward had told me that you had been wanting something to draw your ideas out on, designs, and creations. This isn't everything, but hopefully it's enough to get you started."**

"**Oh Edward," I said embracing him with out much thought. "Thank you.' I pulled away to see a sheepish grin on his face. I turned to hug Carlisle in thanks and hugged him as well. That familiar electricity ran through me when he put his arms around me. I pulled away just in time to see a look register over Edwards face, he quickly masked it with a smile.**

**I knew very well something was going through his head, but for some reason he felt he needed to hide it. I trapped him one morning in the basement.**

"**Esme, come one this isn't necessary." He said trying to move away.**

"**Correct me if I'm wrong, but am I not still strong than you?" I asked walking toward him.**

"**Not really, that only lasts about a year, but Esme -" **

**I cut him off.**

"**No 'buts' young man, I want to know what is going on. You've been getting more and more distant, and I would like to know why. Are you mad at me, is there something -"**

"**Esme. No. I'm not mad. There's just a lot of emotion, and I don't know how you will handle it, and I get a little too worried sometimes." He confessed.**

"**Are you sure that's everything?" I still had him backed up against the wall. I stepped back allowing him his space.**

"**Well, actually I've been toying with the idea of going off on my own for a while."**

**I felt like I'd been stabbed where my heart would be, I couldn't bare the thought of him leaving, he was too important to me. I cared about him. He was everything I would have wanted my son to be. He slowly put his arms around me, pulling me in. "Esme, your falling in love with Carlisle, and I need some time to myself. You're doing well, and you don't need me anymore."**

**I looked in his eyes, and realized it was true. I didn't need him as a protector, I needed him the way a mother needs her son. I also knew he was more mature than I wanted to admit.**

"**I will miss you while you're gone."**

"**I will miss you too. You'll have Carlisle, you won't think much about me."**

_**I'm falling in love with Carlisle. **_**I thought.**

**Edward nodded. **

**It made perfect sense. I couldn't wait to see him when he got home, I always felt an electricity when he touched me. I could understand how this could make Edward uncomfortable. I had never felt anything like this when I was with Charles. I saw Edward shudder as that thought surfaced. We could both hear Carlisle approach, and raced up the stairs to meet him. Edward won, teasing me in my effort. Carlisle smiled as he came in the door watching us play fight.**

"**Good day in the home I take it?" Carlisle chuckled setting down his bag.**

"**Indeed." Edward said shooting me a sideways glance.**

**Edward told him later that night that he wanted some time to himself. Carlisle asked how long he would be gone. He didn't have any plans yet, but he'd keep in touch with us as long as he was gone. **

"**Are you leaving tonight?" Carlisle asked, I felt guilty eavesdropping, but I wanted to know.**

"**No, I don't know when exactly." He admitted. "I feel like I need to get out."**

"**Well, no matter what Edward you're always welcome with me."**

"**Thank you."**

**I turned to my sketch book, and drew a giant Victorian house. Like the one I used to dream about. A giant wrap around porch. I heard the front door open and close, and footsteps fade into the night. I added a turret over the right side, and a bay window. I drew out matching floor plans and imagined how the rooms would look. The downstairs a wide open living room, and a library. I didn't pay any attention to the approaching foot steps. I was placing furniture when I heard Carlisle's voice.**

"**He wants to leave for a while."**

"**I heard." I said quietly not wanting to admit it.**

"**Esme, I don't him to go, he's been my only friend."**

"**I'm your friend too Carlisle." I said his name, liking the sound. I was happy he couldn't hear my thoughts. I hoped Edward couldn't either.**

"**I know, and I'm thankful for you. More than you know." He wrapped his arms around me. It wasn't like when Edward did. This was more intimate, more intense. The familiar spark lit through me. I returned embrace, and felt a small shudder flow through his body. **

"**Esme?" He said looking down at me.**

"**Yes, Carlisle." I looked up at him, I was still wrapped in his arms. His eyes were warm and golden.**

"**If Edward leaves, will you stay with me?"**

**I didn't even have to think about my answer.**

"**Of course. Where would I go?"**

**We both laughed a bit. He stood there holding me, not even beginning to let go. I didn't care to let go myself.**


	8. Chapter 8

**** Note: I own no part of the characters in any way shape or form, I am using Stephanie Meyers characters to tell a story of my own rendition and events of Esme's life. Thank you.**

**Edward became more distant from the group as Carlisle became more comfortable with each other. He decided he wasn't going to leave, not at the moment. I personally thought it might be because he knew how much it would hurt both of us. He managed to find ways to spend more and more time away from us. For which we missed his company. He became secretive when he was home, and often refused to even go hunting with us.**

**I had found plenty of things to keep me busy throughout the day, to replace the absence in company. Gardening being one of them. We had the most beautiful garden until the fall came and killed off all the plants. I mourned their loss by creating dozens of paper flowers and placing in vases around the house. **

"**Esme, I think you're the only person I know who could make something so beautiful just by taking her time with her creations." Edward told me one day when he graced us with his presence.**

"**That's not true Edward," I negated him, "your compositions are absolutely beautiful." I smiled at him happy to see a small spark in his eyes.**

"**Thank you." He said simply.**

**Edward announced that he'd be leaving for a week, that morning when Carlisle came home. We put on a brave face, and told him to be safe, that we would miss him. This he already knew. I didn't know but Carlisle had decided to take my mind off of his absence by taking me on a trip. **

"**Where are we going?" I asked him after he surprised me.**

"**You'll see." He said with a mischievous smile.**

"**You're not going to blind fold me are you?" I replied remembering the surprise I gave him, and the theatrics behind them.**

"**I just might."**

**It was just before sunrise when we pulled into a small Inn, where a plump little old lady met us, smiling. Her grayed hair pulled up into a bun atop her head.**

"**Ah you must be Mister Carlisle, and Miss Esme. Welcome to The Cloudy Inn. I'm Ingrid. We have your rooms all set up for you.**

**I just smiled dumbstruck as to what to say. Carlisle smiled his charming smile that could melt ice.**

"**Thank you Ingrid." He said quietly. **

"**Follow me, follow me." she urged leading us into the three story Victorian structure. I was amazed at the mass of the building itself. It was beautifully structured with hard oak floors and beautiful handmade tapestries on the wall.**

"**This place is simply beautiful." I said still staring at our surroundings"**

"**Thank you." She smiled with pride. "It belonged to my great, great Aunt Grete, her first husband Rhett, the built it in eighteen ninety-two. It was almost torn down in '21, the house was almost destroyed by a fire. A forest fire, can you believe." **

"**How often does that happen here?" I asked looking at the wall paper, a pale off white with light flowers, nothing intrusive or overbearing.**

"**Oh, forest fires?" She thought for a second, her little bun shaking with her head. "That was the only one I can ever remember, they're incredibly rare in a place with so much rain. My dear it rains so much here, the sunshine is rather scarce, but I love it I tell you, it's the prettiest green any where." She beamed with pride telling us about 'her' town, as she showed us to our separate rooms. "Okay my dear you're in room nine, and you handsome sir will be in room eleven." She ushered him in and left us to get ready. We both pretended to sleep for about four hours, before we made our escape to visit the small town.**

"**Where are we, surely you can tell me now Carlisle." I asked as he drove toward the small town bumping along the dirt road. **

"**We are in Washington state. We're in a small town called Port of Our Lady of the Angels."**

"**That's a rather big name for a small town." I noted as we pulled to the water front. "This is very beautiful." **

"**I think we're one of the few people who can see the beauty in a cloudy day." I had to agree with his assumption, it was nice getting to be out side like a normal person. I took a deep breath, filled with salt water and dried seaweed. He pulled off the main tree lined road near a boat dock, where we could see logs floating down the river. We both got out of the car and began walking down the abandoned water front.**

"**This is beautiful." I said looking over the dark green waters that never seemed to still.**

"**It is. There's a kind of peace out here. I don't know how to place it."**

"**I do. There's no explosions, no battles, just water and sky, mountains. Such beautiful mountains." I looked to the south east where they seemed to grow up from the earth. "I wouldn't mind living here someday." I said looking around.**

"**I could see that." He said wrapping his arms around me. "Who knows what will happen in this world right now. Everything is changing fast."**

**Carlisle and I pretended to have had dinner to avoid supper at the inn with the charming Ingrid. We decided to excuse ourselves and walk around the woods. When sky opened up and poured down rain we just laughed and kept walking. We found our selves by a river, the rushing water adding to the sound of every drop as it fell. Even thorough all this all I could see was the beauty. Carlisle smiled and let out a small laugh.**

"**What is it?" I asked wishing to be included on the mirth.**

"**You," He smiled again, "This is how I remember you. Full of life and happy."**

"**Well except for being 'alive' in a biological sense, I am very happy. I don't think I had ever been this contented while I was alive. Carlisle." I said looking into his warm golden eyes. "Thank you, for everything."**

**He smiled down at me, I was close enough to see the drops falling leaving tiny crystals in his hair.**

"**Esme," He said sending a chill down my spine. I still loved to hear him say my name. Before I could ask again what he was going to say I felt his lips on mine. He was very careful and gentle with the kiss, but didn't break it quickly as if he were only kissing a friend. I wrapped my arms around him and returned the emotion. I had thought about kissing him many times, I'd watched him, and imagined what it would be like. This was a better than I had ever believed. I felt the wind pick up and the rain patter us under it's control, but we didn't back away, but stood there deepening the kiss. The rain seemed warm on our skin, pleasant even. The sky was beginning to darken, changing the brighter jade of the forest to a deeper green with liquid crystals glistening from the needles and leaves. **

"**We should get back." I said quietly resting my head on his chest, as he held me against him.**

"**Yes, we should. Before Miss Ingrid sends out a search party on the hunt for us." I felt him laugh a bit as he spoke. He kissed my forehead and then took my hand leading me back the way we came.**

**When we arrived back at the Inn, Ingrid stood there with a concerned look on her face, staring off into the woods.**

"**My heaven's I was afraid we'd lost the two of you. Oh and in this down pour too. My goodness dears you are both soaked to the bone. We have a fire going in the front room, hurry on upstairs and change into some dry clothes." She ushered us into the grand building directing us upstairs. She touched my arm as she led us up. "My dear you're frozen to the bone, I hope you don't get sick from this."**

**I just smiled a small private joke to myself, wondering if vampires ever got sick.**

**________________________________________________________________________ **

**Note: I've done the best I can to stay true to the history that Stephanie Meyer put together of the characters, while adding in a few easter eggs here and there. I've done some research on the towns that I have them in for their time period, but nothing to extensive, so if something is out of sorts, it's just creative input to fill put the gaps. Hope you're still enjoying the chapters. If you have any questions feel free to ask.**

**~Trist'n Man'e**

**P.S. Thank you all SO much for the comments, I love reading them (all). I appreciate the time you've taken to read and review my minor literary skill. **

**Many thanks to those of you who've followed, are following and continue to do so. **

**You really make this an interesting venture for me.**


	9. Chapter 9

**The visit to Washington was romantic in an innocent way. It was also a very nice reprieve from our daily life, and concerns. As always being home was just as nice as getting away. I was quite excited to see Edwards car in the drive as we arrived home. I saw a smile spread on Carlisle's face as well as he dimmed the head lights.**

"**Edward." I said getting out of the car. **

**He was there before I turned around.**

"**Welcome back, how was your trip." He asked politely, as I hugged him I welcome.**

"**Wet, cloudy, lovely." I smiled, "We could go out during the day."**

"**Cloudy days?" He asked.**

"**Almost the whole time. It was very nice." Carlisle added.**

"**Even the rain?" Edward asked with a mischievous smile.**

**I knew if I could blush I would have been a red as a tomato. I dipped my head and tried to hide the look on my face. The only thing I could manage was to mumble,**

"**It's not nice to read peoples minds young man."**

**Edward chuckled lightly and helped us take our things in.**

**One afternoon while I was arranging my paper flowers and clearing the dust off of them, Edward begged my attention.**

"**Esme, I wanted to speak with you. I've already discussed this with Carlisle." He paused for a second not looking into my eyes. "I'm not happy here anymore, I think it's time I find another life elsewhere."**

"**Edward…" I began, but he cut me off.**

"**No, I can not stay, we can not work this out. This is best." He said standing up, reading my mind before I knew it. "I shall write." He finished his short speech and walked out the door.**

**I heard an engine start, and then fade. I dared not look out the window for all the more pain it would cause. I dropped my head into my hands, and choked out thick sobs, minus the tears to accompany them. I felt a stir of air behind me, and smelled Carlisle. I turned around and buried my head in his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and comforted me as best he could.**

"**Oh Carlisle, I feel like I'm loosing another child." I cried into his body.**

**He said nothing holding me closer. "I don't want to be here anymore, I can't… I -" I was cut off by my own scattered mind. The emotions were overwhelming once more and I gave in to grief. **

"**Alright, dear, it's alright." He pulled me closer to him. "We can leave, we can stay, we can do what ever you need. Anything you want."**

**I was quickly jolted out of the stupor I had put myself in by the sound of someone approaching from outside and then a loud rapping on our front door.**

"**Doctor," a voice came from the other side of the door "Doctor. Mister Carlisle we need you."**

**Carlisle released me. He moved quickly to the front door opening it.**

"**What is it?" He asked grabbing for his case.**

"**It looks like Mayes been attacked by some animal, he's bleeding awful bad. He's not responding to anything we've said." The man relayed.**

"**Did you hear a heart beat?" Carlisle asked walking out the door with him.**

"**No, no one went into his bunk, we just called to him from the door. Carl Wright found him laying there, and Mel Goode, well they both stood there yelling at him afraid of what ever attacked him could still be in the room."**

**They got too far for me to hear much more of the conversation. I paced back and forth remembering a conversation that Carlisle had told me about Mayes only a few weeks before.**

"_**Well, one of the men, the one who likes to cause problems, Mayes, he is threatening people now. Edward accompanied me one evening, and told me the content of his thoughts. They were all malicious, and cruel. He's also planning on setting off an early explosion, but he hasn't decided when."**_

"_**We can not let him do that." I interrupted, thinking of all those families, and what it would mean.**_

"_**We're not, but I don't plan on killing him either. I don't like the idea of taking someone else's life even a scourge like him. We haven't quite figured out how to handle it, but we'd probably have to leave immediately afterward. I don't want to risk anything to this family because of my actions. I wouldn't be so rash, but this man, Mayes, he is a horrible creature."**_

"_**I understand. If it must be done, to help others, then I understand." **_

**Carlisle returned a little over an hour later telling me to hurry and gather my most important things. Anything else I could spare was to be left behind and replaced at a later time. His car was loaded within ten minutes and we were on the dark road, headed east. The head lamps cutting through the night as the only illumination to be seen. I had not asked what was the reason for such a swift departure, but I feared what had been found. Eventually my curiosity was too strong to ignore.**

"**Carlisle?" I ventured quietly**

"**What is it my dear?" He responded not taking his eyes from the road.**

"**May I ask, what had happened? Why did we have to rush away so quickly?"**

"**Oh Esme, I am so sorry. I am very used to Edward knowing my every thought, and never having to verbalize them. Do forgive me." He relayed "Mayes was not sick, like the men thought. He was dead."**

**I could say no words in response, but a gasp escaped my lips in their stead. Carlisle nodded in silent concurrence. A fear clouded my mind. I begged in my mind that it was a false despair, but something in me knew it was not.**

"**Carlisle, it … it wasn't…. was it?" I couldn't say his name, I could barely speak the words.**

"**I'm sorry Esme. It was."**

**We said nothing for miles while he drove. I tried to clear my mind by looking around. I noticed little more than towns in the distance disappearing as soon as they appeared and brush that lined the highway.**

"**I don't recognize anything." I said absentmindedly, thinking more out loud than anything else.**

"**We're in Canada." He replied looking at me. "I have a house in Estevan. In Saskatchewan."**

**I nodded stunned how everything was already in order. I wondered how many times they had to leave before due to an uncomfortable situation.**

**We were taking a right turn when Carlisle spoke again.**

"**The town has grown it seems." He said as we passed the few houses and buildings that looked like ware houses.**

**There was not even a train station to be seen, the town was so small. but I could hear one chugging in the distance. He drove on past the small congregation of the town, and over a little winding river. We crossed it once more before turning off on to a dirt road. We pulled up to a deep green, two story Victorian farm house with dark beige trim. The porch wrapped around the front of house, encasing the windowed turret. Milky white steps matching a fence accompanied the porch around the house, intensifying the alabaster window frames. **

"**It's beautiful Carlisle." I said stepping out of the car.**

"**There is a car port on that side, attached." He pointed to the west side of the house. "I had it built about forty years ago now. I don't know why I built it so large. I'm thankful for that now." He smiled at me. "Come Esme. I'll show you the house." **

**We left our belongings in the car, as he guided me up the steps.**

"**I hope you like it." He smiled again throwing his arms wide opening the door.**

**I smiled back at him and walked in. Everything was from another century still in pristine condition. The house was beautifully upholstered with oak hard wood floors and pale beige wall paper.**

"**Carlisle this place is … it's amazing. It's so beautiful."**

"**Thank you. I have to admit, I never thought that would be sharing this house with anyone else. Come I'll show you the library."**

**He walked around into the round room. The walls that were not windowed were covered in books.**

"**Here's one of them. The smaller of the two."**

"**One?" I asked surprised.**

"**Yes, one." He shot me a smile that could make any woman melt. I followed him down the hall through a dining room and kitchen into a small room with a couch and three wall filled with more literature. "My word, so many books"**

"**Well, it helps to keep me up to date. Maybe not these ones so much anymore." He laughed at the realization that his books were now almost half a century old.**

"**What are you going to do here? Are you going to go back to being a doctor?" I asked picking up a medical dictionary and opening the pages.**

"**I think I'll take some time off. For now any how. We'll see what happens."**

"**I thought you liked being a doctor." I said looking at the dusty pages.**

"**I do, very much." He said looking at me. "I think right now, staying away from the general population might be the bet thing."**

"**Sac-ro-iliac." I pronounced.**

"**It's a joint in the body."**

**I turned the pages back.**

"**Car-di-ac muscles." I said looking at the page.**

"**The heart."**


	10. Chapter 10

**One afternoon I was reading in the small library when Carlisle called me out to the garden. The whole property was surrounded by trees, the ability to go into the back yard during the day was possible for this reason alone. Carlisle had trees planted thickly around the outlying property, blocking any casual passer by from viewing the grounds, when he originally built the house. **

"**What is it Carlisle, do you need something?" I asked stepping out of the house. He shimmered like cut marble in the bright light, as he stood there smiling at me.**

"**Esme, I know this isn't the easiest existence." He began. "You have made it completely worthwhile though since coming into my life, and since you've been here, I feel that my missing piece is found." He paused and pulled out a small paper flower he'd made and handed it to me. I took it gently in my hand still looking at him. I felt confused at his confession. I tried not betray my query, but it read on my face.**

"**Esme." He paused to take a breath. "Would you, could you endeavor to spend the rest of your existence with me?"**

**It took a second for the realization of what he said to sink in. I looked in the flower when something caught my eye. In it sat a sapphire ring edged in small diamonds. I looked up at him and back at the ring, catching my thoughts.**

"**Oh Carlisle…" I couldn't gather my words in order to form a coherent sentence. **

**Carlisle came over beside me and took the ring out. He reached down for my hand and gently placed the ring on my finger. I looked up into his eyes. I couldn't speak. Carlisle slowly leaned down and kissed me.**

**I said yes, of course, once I was able to speak again. He pulled me into his arms and squeezed me tightly. I reached up on tip toe and kissed him softly on the chin. We both decided to keep it simple and make it happen expeditiously. Carlisle knew just the place he wanted to have the ceremony, which he was keeping a secret, and I began sewing my ensemble. Carlisle offered to get me any gown I wanted, but I knew precisely what I desired, and it was not going to be in any shop. I had managed to keep a few scraps of beautiful Brussels lace that Edward had given me that had belonged to his mother. I was planning on incorporating them into the dress one way or another. I was suddenly sad in my realization that he wouldn't be with us on this occasion. I really did not have time to dwell on the current state of things as there was much too much to do. Everything I did though he remained in the back of my thoughts. I missed him.**

**Carlisle had disappeared to arrange everything that I knew nothing about. He was gone for a few day and when he returned he only told me the location and nothing else. Everything was set and by the end of the week we made our way to Manitoba. As we were getting ready and even departing Carlisle couldn't help but smile at his little secrets. When I would ask what it was, he would just smile wider and say;**

"**You shall see."**

**I finally stopped asking questions and enjoyed the scenery. The terrain mainly consisted of tall pines and dog woods beside the road, along with various towns cropping up between them. The trees became fewer and further apart as small ponds and lakes of water appeared. The small bodies became larger the further east we headed. We arrived in the very early morning to an overcast day. I was still learning to be comfortable with the idea of being outside in during day light hours, for some reason today it wasn't even a concern on my mind. Carlisle and I drove through a small town when he told me we were almost there. **

**We arrived at a lovely chateau style house with the wattle and daub framing, and wide shutter bordered windows. I was completely taken away with the beauty of the building. It looked like something out off the picture books of Germany that I had seen, almost like from a fairy tale. Carlisle informed me that we would be staying here over the next few days. There was nobody at the house when we arrived, and we would have it to our selves while we remained. Carlisle showed me around the property that was mostly secluded. In the distance you could see another home, but it looked uninhabited and as if it had been that way for some time. I disappeared to my room to hang my dress up, and make sure everything else I was in charge of was finished as well. **

**I loved my dress. I knew exactly how I wanted it to look and made it happen, I gave it a drop waist falling just below the hips with a deep v-neck and accented with small seed pearls. The sleeves were short and made of the Brussels lace in three cascades mid way on my upper arm. The lace of the sleeves matched that at the hem of my skirt. The dress wasn't the raging fashion, but it suited me. Along with it was a small matching headpiece that sat a little further back on me as opposed to being across the front of my forehead, which in honesty seemed a little silly to me.**

**I sat down on the bed as a feeling of butterflies in my stomach appeared. How could I be nervous. This is what I wanted. This is making me happy. I loved Carlisle without a doubt in my being. Why was I suddenly scared? **

"**Esme." Carlisle called knocking on the heavy bedroom door.**

"**One second" I said as I quickly covered my dress. "Alright come in." **

**He stood there looking absolutely handsome, breath taking. It was a good thing I didn't have to breath, I would have fainted. **

"**I wanted to know if you wanted to explore the town a bit with me?" He smiled and held out his hand to me.**

"**Absolutely." I said taking his hand in mine.**

**Just before sunset on the next night we were set to wed. He kept me away from the site entirely on our walk. I did the best I could to convince him to show me, but he insisted on the surprise. **

"**I promise Esme, you will love what I have planned." He said comforting me.**

"**I trust you." I said smiling up at him. "I just thought it was traditional for the **_**bride**_** to make all the arrangements."**

"**Ah well, this time the **_**bride**_** can take it easy and enjoy the end result. Didn't you make your dress?"**

"**I did do that."**

"**Well, that is a pretty big thing if I may say."**

"**I have to admit, sewing was a lot easier than I remember."**

"**I guess there are some advantages for our kind." He grinned boyishly. It was just enough to make me melt inside. We walked along through the evening, I felt so lucky to be where I was, regardless of the events that had brought me there. I quick pang crossed my mind as I considered those events. I didn't want to cause any alarm to Carlisle as those flashed across my face, so I looked up to see the lightest of the stars bright as a flame. The moon so large it would have been enough light for even a human with bad eyes. I could make out every little pock and scar that littered it's light grey surface. At that moment I thought I could live forever under that light and those billions of tiny flames that flanked it, as long as he was always by my side.**

**Carlisle was ready to leave when a concern popped into my head we were almost to the where he planned to hold the ceremony when I voiced my thoughts.**

"**Carlisle don't we need a witness." I said suddenly nervous.**

"**I would be happy to do that for you." a familiar voice came from behind the few outlying trees, "If that is alright with you."**

"**Edward." I smiled I was ecstatic to see him.**

"**Wow you look simply beautiful Esme." He said hugging me**

"**Thank you Edward. I've missed you so much."**

"**I know, I miss you both two, but we'll discuss this later. For now, it seems like there's something I think would match your dress. "**

**He stood behind me and hooked a thin gold chain. The necklace was a hand carved shell cameo mounted in a gold filled pendant. The top leafs had pink gold in them, matching the outline of the cameo.**

"**It's so beautiful." I said looking at it."**

"**Much enhanced by it's wearer." Carlisle smiled at us both.**

"**Where ever did you find this?" I asked still admiring the work.**

"**It had belonged to my mother. I felt it only right to pass it on to you." **

"**Thank you Edward, that's very sweet of you. That also explains why it seems from another century."**

"**Just like us." Edward laughed.**

"**Shall we continue?" I asked getting nervous again.**

**I hadn't realized that Carlisle had went up a head of us, but there he stood, looking like an angel come to earth waiting for me. Edward took my arm and walked me down to meet him. The air smelled fresh, like it had just rained, and the sun was almost completely gone, but there enough to light up the sky clearly. In the distance stood the now full moon reflecting on the water.**

**Carlisle stood before a small pond that sat about fifty yards from the larger body of water that was lake Winnipegosis. The pond was filled with dozens of floating candles lighting up the diameter around the little pool and all around it were rose petals matching the dimming sunset.**

**The ceremony was short and sweet, with Edward giving me away. The priest seemed oddly frightened of our little trio. I tried to hold in a smile as he walked away, only to see Edward and Carlisle laughing at a private joke.**

"**Edward, Carlisle, private jokes are…"**

"**Inappropriate," Edward finished my sentence, "It's not really all that private, we all had the same thought."**

"**We did?" I asked**

"**Yes, and he was fully afraid we would turn him into on of the undead." He said waving his fingers like a magician.**

"**Did he know then, that we are…" Carlisle asked.**

"**Well, I just wouldn't stick around here too long."**

"**Well, that's not the plan any way, we're gone before first light in any case."**

"**We are? Where are we going?" I asked again.**

"**Ahh." He smiled a knowing grin.**

"**Carlisle Cullen, you are not keeping another secret from me."**


	11. Chapter 11

Edward was gone all to soon after the ceremony and the three person reception. Carlisle and I lamented the separation of our dear friend once more.

I had ran over arguments in my head to persuade him to stay, but it was futile. I never voiced any requests because I knew he heard them loud and clear, if any of it appealed to him I knew he would speak up.

We didn't see Edward again for almost three years. Carlisle and I had recently moved to Alpena, Michigan, once again outside of the bustling town. We also managed to turn a four story warehouse that had been abandoned into our new home. Many days were spent making small repairs and clearing the debris from the last decade of disuse. Carlisle told me the building housed and insurance firm, a lawyers firm and a sewing shop on the top two floors. I had barely readied the second story to convert when I heard his familiar voice calling me from down below. I rushed down the half repaired steps and almost knocked him into the wall due to my elation.

"Edward" I squealed. "It's so wonderful to see you. How long will you be with us? How long have you been in town. Please don't leave so soon this time." I said bombarding him with my questions and request. As I pulled back from a hug I found myself a little startled at his dimmed crimson eyes. I told myself it was the same Edward we had always known and loved, regardless of his prior activities, but the curiosity was very much still there. Carlisle was as happy as I was to be able to greet Edward when he arrived home in the early morning light. Carlisle had found a position working alternate days at the hospital. They were quickly recognizing his prowess in the medical field, and his work days were getting longer. He spent his time home helping me repair the building to a better state.

We three sat into the late afternoon discussing all we had missed. I shared with him my ideas for the building as well. I told him it was my suggestion to take over this abandoned building and repair it. Once he'd seen how we turned the top floor into an open loft, bright and welcoming he agreed it was not in vain. It was a stark contrast to the bottom floor where I'd met him earlier still filled with debris and boarded up windows allowing only dusty light to shower onto the floor boards, that were in a desperate state themselves.

"I guess you haven't completely lost your mind Esme, I'm very impressed. This is very beautiful. I would love to help you continue."

"Why, thank you Edward."

" I have to admit, I thought it was a little crazy myself, but I trusted her. I'm glad all in all. It has turned out wonderful." Carlisle praised me.

"It really has." I nodded in agreement. If I could have blushed I would have.

We quickly set up a floor for his own use. He had his own large bedroom, partitioned off, he only lamented the lack of light and a bigger library. We were still working on adding to the literary family. Life was quickly returned to it's prior state with the three of us together again. It felt whole again. Edward was even considering going to college for pre-med.

Alpena had much to offer us. My favorite was walking along the water with Carlisle and Edward in the evening as the stars glistened across the dark water, dancing in the rippled tide. Carlisle was invited to a party one evening where other successful families would be present. We all agreed to attend as a family, Edward masquerading as my brother. We arrived at a large private residence on the waterfront. The large white house seemed to glow from within through the dark. There was a six piece band playing current instrumental favorites. I was slightly taken aback at the opulence due to the current situation many families had found themselves in. The problem seem to be on the rise and this seemed a frivolous affair to me. Edward turned to me and nodded in agreement. We all put on smiles, Carlisle's was by far the most genuine. He introduce my 'brother' and I to the mayor and various other councilmen from the city. They even attempted to talk Carlisle into running for an office. He of course graciously declined, after pretending to consider it.

"Why is it, Dr. Cullen that we never see you about, it's not fair of you to keep your beautiful wife locked away from the town." A man named Mr. Bowmen asked leering at me.

"Dear sister," Edward broke in, "Come with me to get some punch. Carlisle, would you like some."

"No. Thank you Edward"

It wasn't hard to see the double meaning Carlisle had given him. I took his arm and nodded to the circle of men excusing myself.

"You have an amazingly beautiful wife, Dr. Cullen. I don't think there's a woman here that can compare." Bowman said as we walked away.

I heard Carlisle thank him, and another man chide him for saying such a thing.

Edward in a low whisper that only we three could hear explained what exactly was on his mind.

"That is disgusting." I said, appalled at the thought.

Edwards head snapped up. "That's not our only problem." He pulled me against a false wall. I stood there pretending to drink the red juice while glancing around at the couples moving across the floor. He quietly told me to look at the opposite wall where a tall thin man stood. He was dressed in black and stood out of the way smiling at people as they greeted him, and every so often throwing a side long glance at us. Edward turned and spoke to me in a low whisper, relaying his thoughts. He knew something of our world. He knew what we were. He was perplexed by our strange golden eyes, he fully expected red. He knew too much. I began to panic.

"Esme, stay calm. Panic will not help, but only confirm his suspicions." He warned.

"We have to tell--"

"We will," He said quietly, "just not this minute."

From a distance we could still see Carlisle in conversation. Edward watched him for a little while. We pretended to have our own conversation.

"Esme, pretend your sick." He told me, "We need to go home. Now."

We walked back over to him through the crowd, I noticed for the first time, all the young ladies staring openly at Edward. He half smiled at my realization.

"Carlisle," Edward said tapping him on the shoulder. "Esme isn't feeling too well. I think we should head home."

"Ahh." He said turning to look at my in the eyes, pretending to check on me. "Alright. It's getting a bit late either how." He turned to the men behind him. "Gentleman, thank you for a good evening. I hope you can excuse us."

"Oh Doc, you can't be headed off now, it's still early, and I wanted a dance with your lovely wife." Bowman said at his request of dismissal.

I then heard a low growl emanate from my 'brother'.

"I am sorry, I am not feeling the best just now." I feigned.

"Are we expecting another Cullen on the way then?" Another man interjected.

I stood shocked at the insinuation. I couldn't believe how rude these men now were.

"We're going to head outside." Edward said, in an almost forced tone. "The fresh air may help her." He took hold of my arm and ushered me out, I put my hand over my face to fake feeling ill in the only way I could think to.

"How old is the boy Carlisle, he seems much older than he looks." Another man commented in an admiring tone.

Carlisle was soon behind us. Before we had gone the length of the street Edward had relayed the entire evening back to him, including the man in black.

"We have to leave." It was a statement, not a suggestion.

"This is horrible. " I said. "We just began to settle, and everything was going so well. Where would we go?"

"I have an idea." Edward said. "I think I know where we can go."

_______________________________________________________________________


	12. Chapter 12

"**What is in Rochester New York?" I asked as I hauled my new sewing machine into its carrying case.**

"**Well it's a bigger city, there is more to do." Carlisle said taking the case from me. **

"**More people too." I said leery of repeated events.**

"**Yes, but everyone tends to live in their own little world. It's not small like here where everyone wants to know about you." Edward added.**

"**This place isn't that small Edward." Carlisle told him.**

"**Small enough."**

**I quietly finished packing my small bag of possessions and wondered what exactly Carlisle had told the hospital when he left.**

"**He told them 'our parents' were ill and needed us … in Colorado. They asked him if he would return as soon as possible." Edward relayed.**

"**Colorado?" I asked.**

"**First thing that came to mind." Carlisle admitted bashfully.**

**We were in the early fall of 1932 when we arrived in Rochester, and it was already much colder then Alpena had been. The Canadian drafts that blew into the area dropped the temperature and caused icy winds to pelt the people of the city who were often wrapped in several layers of too thin clothing. It was very apparent we were in a great depression. Everyone was hungry, and many were loosing their homes and means of existence. It made me feel so guilty that I was never hungry, or cold. I was in need of nothing. I wanted to help, but didn't want to draw any attention to us in any way. We all stayed inconspicuous, Carlisle reserved himself as a country doctor helping people in their homes rather than a job in the local hospital. Edward began studying before his college exams, and I had taken up French.**

**Edward had passed through Rochester on his way back to us and had found a house just east of town. It was now in the middle of the expanding suburb that had quickly halted leaving several houses as unfinished shells. Edward had purchased the European throw back that looked like a miniature of the home Carlisle and I visited when we were married in Canada, complete with the waddle and daub design. The home had two floors with a small attic, and full basement. We had few neighbors most chose to live closer to town. The house sat back from the paved road just enough to have three large trees two fir pines and a maple with two smaller beech trees. This gave the house an over all dark appearance. I missed the open light of the loft, but this would do to keep us in the privacy we needed. **

**The days were getting colder, and more people were suffering. In one of the abandoned houses down the street a family of five were squatting. I had seen them outside scavenging. They were hunting for fallen branches and fallen fruit Edward told me. We would often see smoke rising from the chimney and the children returning with bundles sticks. Edward told me that the father had lost his job at the grocery, and the mother had over dosed on sleeping pills leaving him with the four children, one boy, a set of twin girls and a younger baby girl. The littlest was sick, but he couldn't afford to take her to a doctor. Carlisle was aching to help him, but there was nothing we could do short of raising suspicion.**

**I decided one night to tie a bag of food together for them. I put in bread, jam cookies I had baked, some hard cheese, and a large jar of soup. I snuck in one night late when they were all asleep and quietly left it with a note of good wishes. The next day I saw the little boy chewing on a piece of bread with jam on the corner of his mouth, he was smiling. It was the first time I had ever seen him smile. His dark little eyes lit up. I was sitting outside planting bulbs in the garden when I heard him approach. It was the first time any children had came up to me.**

"**What are you doing?" He asked me innocently before taking another bite of his dark bread.**

"**I'm planting bulbs, so that in the spring they will bloom into pretty flowers." I told him.**

"**Oh. What kind of flowers."**

**I showed him the package with the drawing of daffodils on the cover.**

"**Those are pretty."**

"**Thank you. I think so." I smiled at him. It hit me then, he was about the same age my baby would have been had he survived.**

"**What is your name?" He asked tilting his head to the right smiling with jam in the corner of his mouth.**

"**My name is Esme, what is yours?"**

"**David."**

"**That's a very nice name."**

**We both turned to hear a frantic voice calling the name I had just learned.**

"**David, David where are you?"**

**He went running down the street yelling, "Here I am papa." The street went quiet again soon after. I felt myself want to cry. The last images I remembered from my human life came flooding back to me. I stood up from my task and disappeared into the house, trying to keep my composure. **

"**Esme." I heard Edward say quietly from the top of the stairs. "I don't want to add to your anguish, but do be careful." He said this last softly. "He is curious."**

**I only nodded and went into my study.**

**Carlisle and I were discussing the early winter weather when quick steps and a rapid knock on the front door called our attention.**

"**Doc, Doc, I need your help." It was David's father on the other side. "Please."**

"**The little girl," Edward said quietly quickly, "she's very sick. He doesn't know what's wrong."**

**I raced for door and opened it allowing a cold wind to pelt us.**

"**Bring her in." Carlisle said, clearing the chaise couch. "Set her here."**

**The father set her down. Her little hands were so cold and red. Her clothes almost too small and tattered. I had made all the children a coat and snuck it in, as I had done with the food several other nights, this was wrapped around her tiny body. It was the only piece of clothing without tatters and stains.**

**Carlisle leaned down to hear her heart, and breathing. He took a deep breath and searched for any scent that might belie her condition.**

"**I don't know what to do Doc. If it hadn't been for the food that we've been getting she would have never gotten better in the first place. She was doing good, her cheeks were rosy and now, now she's so sick. I don't know what to do. Can you help?"**

"**Sir, when's the last time you took her to a doctor?" Carlisle asked as he sat her up and listened to her lungs from her back.**

"**Uh.. uhm must be about two or three years now. I just can't --"**

**Carlisle nodded before asking;**

"**Did they ever tell you there was something odd about her heart?"**

"**Her heart? Her heart. No. Nothing like that." He stuttered on his words as he tried to compose his answer.**

"**She has arrhythmia."**

"**Doc I don't know what that is."**

"**It's an irregular heart beat or an irregularity in the rhythm of the heartbeat."**

"**What does that mean? Can it be fixed?"**

"**I'm afraid not." Carlisle said shaking his head. "It's being taxed by the fact that she also has pneumonia. It's stressing her heart, and making it more difficult to breath. She need to sit up, don't give her any milk. It makes it worse. Do you smoke?"**

"**No not…"**

"**Good. Don't. It exasperates her breathing rub some of this over her ribcage, it will help the congestion." Carlisle handed him a small brown bottle. "Oh and have this, dilute it in water two drops per cup, one cup in the evening. It will help with the pain. It will make her sleepy, but it will be easier on her heart if she's not straining."**

"**The tea, Carlisle." Edward added handing him several pre-made small bags of herb tea."**

"**Oh yes, thank you Edward." He said turning back to the father. Two cups a day, it should help too."**

**I had already sat the little girl up coaxing her to drink the thin liquid. Her breathing had begun easing up to some degree.**

"**How can I pay you back. I don't have any…"**

"**Nothing is owed." Carlisle said wrapping everything up for him.**

"**But Doc, I feel I owe you something. I'm good with repairs." He offered looking around the house finding nothing. "Someone's been leaving food and clothing for us, and we can't figure out who it is, or how they're doing it, and if I could pay you back, I wouldn't feel so guilty for so much charity."**

"**It's nothing really. It was a simple fix. She should be up again before too long, running around driving you crazy." He smiled at him. "I promise if I think of something I'll let you know. Until then, we'll just consider this a favor."**

"**Doc…"**

"**Sir, go take your little girl home, get her some rest."**

"**Yeah, yes I will. Thank you again Doc." He said with renewed concern for his little girl. He picked up her little body. She smiled and waved at us with one hand the other holding her bag of remedies, as they headed for the door.**

"**Oh wait." I said grabbing a large thick blanket I had just finished sewing. "It's very cold out." I said wrapping them up in it. "Be careful getting home." I said opening the door before he could protest. I watched him walk down the street as the snow began to fall. He vanished into the snow drift. I worried until I heard Edward tell me they had made it home safely. He had made sure of it.**

**A few weeks later on an unusually warm and sunny day for winter, all four of the children were out running around. The littlest one apple cheeked and smiling with her siblings. That night I delivered what would be my last package. New outfits for all four children, and food. A few days later they were gone. There was a note and a five dollar bill in our mail box saying: 'Thank you for everything, I've been offered a job in Yonkers with my brother. Wish us all luck. Thomas, David, Ella, Annie, and Julia' All the children had signed it, David even drew a pretty daffodil next to his name. I was sad to know I would no longer see them playing in the yards or in the snow, but was happy and hopefull that something better awaited them. **

**We decided to go see a Christmas eve showing of White Zombie, staring Bela Lugosi. He was known best in Dracula a few years go and The Murders in the Rue Morgue, which came out earlier this year. I couldn't get over his accent, we felt Dracula was more of a comedy than a horror film. There were few other people out this night, many opting to share it with families and close friends. Many others just trying to survive the night, hungry and cold. I couldn't let that part go, I felt horrible with the suffering that was rampant around us. At the theater a few more people shuffled in. In the back was a beautiful girl I had seen on occasion, she was glaring at Edward, then at Carlisle, she dipped her head and turned to a handsome young man when she saw me look toward her. Edward dipped his head down a bit when we heard her mention the 'Cullens'. They were looking in our direction, and discussing our reserved presence from society. Edward quietly told us that she was petty and jealous of our beauty. I let out a snorted laughter that caused everyone to turn toward our direction. I tried to cover it with a false cough. Edward and Carlisle both laughed at me. **

**After the movie and had everything cleared out we all headed home in the new falling snow. Edward let out a low growl I had only heard a few times. Another couple was walking in the opposite direction behind us. I recognized them both from earlier.**

"**What is it?" I asked him.**

"**Nothing Esme, don't worry." He said turning away from me. **

**I knew something was on his mind, but I knew well enough that he wouldn't share if it didn't effect me. I had a bad feeling about it this time.**

**________________________________________________________________________**

**Hello, I wanted to apologize for taking so long to get back to the story. You all know how life goes. Thanks for all the comments on this and other stories (if you've checked them out). I hope you all like where this goes next.**


	13. Chapter 13

**The chilly winter had faded into the spring, the thick river cutting through the city seemed to commence it's flow once more after being nearly frozen through. The bustle on the street became more prominent as the warmer weather slowly approached. I retreated from the outside as the days grew slowly brighter and wondered how we would all fare come summer. **

**It was very late when I heard the commotion down stairs. Edward and I had just returned from a hunt when he rushed down to the basement. The basement was fully lit up. Edward was seething. I followed after him tentatively. **

**There was a familiar young girl writhing in pain on the tall table that had held my sewing material. She was screaming and crying. Begging us to let her die, to help her die. Carlisle was doing the best he could to soothe her. Her long blond hair fell off the table, blood dripped from her face mingled with her hair giving it dark pink streaks.**

"**Rosalie Hale. What were you thinking Carlisle.… Rosalie Hale. Couldn't you have picked someone a little less well known." He spoke the words through his teeth.**

"**I couldn't just let her die." Carlisle replied with worry in his voice. "It was too horrible, too much waste."**

"**I know." Edward said still angry but, some part of him agreeing with his old friend.**

"**It was too much waste. I couldn't leave her." Carlisle whispered once more.**

"**I know. Of course you couldn't." I said trying to reassure him.**

**I turned away a memory flooding back to me, one I didn't want to see. I could hear them behind me discussing the events that led to this. How she'd been abused, horribly and left for dead. My heart went out to the young woman. I felt a pain that I never wanted to feel again, this time it was for her. Not me. I stared into her eyes for a moment wishing I could take her pain away knowing very well I could not. Her eyes begged me to release her from this punishment she in no way deserved.**

**Edward and Carlisle discussed where she would live. Carlisle made it clear it was her choice where she would go. **

**The girls transformation had ended around the afternoon of the next day. Edward and I stayed in the room with Carlisle as he tried to soothe her worries, and fear. The look in her eyes belied her comprehension and fear of the situation.**

"**I can not handle this any longer." Edward said breaking his silence. He gave Carlisle a side long glance before touching my hand. It was an invitation to follow, and understanding if I did not. I nodded touching his arm in return, he knew very well I wouldn't leave Carlisle at this moment. **

**Rosalie had begun to sit up, staring around at the room in wonder, then in a defensive stance facing us with fear and curiosity in her eyes. She slowly erected herself in realization of the situation. She was immediately defensive and very angry as she began looking around the room. Carlisle stood in front of me. Rosalie turned her wrathful glare to us. Something flashed in the light catching her attention, drawing her eyes behind us. I turned slowly to look at the clear reflecting glass in it our images doubled back on us. She slowly got off the table still moving at normal speed until she stood. She moved quickly to stare at her reflection closer. I could hear Edward let out a sigh of annoyance above the stairs. She violently twisted her head to the origin of the noise. A low hiss escaped her lips.**

"**This is going to be interesting." I whispered quietly to Carlisle.**

**We left the room silently to give her a chance to gather her self, before Carlisle took her on her first hunt.**

**In this chapter I took lines from Eclipse page 162-163. I am doing the best I can to keep to the story Stephanie Meyer gave to the life Esme had before the 'books'. This is mostly of my imagination, but with the info she gave about each of the characters and places. I do not own any of the characters.**


	14. Chapter 14

As the days went on, I saw how much control Rosalie exerted over her actions, or at least tried. She tried her best at all times to be in control. She began to have a look in her crimson eyes, belying some alternative thoughts she hadn't shared with us. Edward became wary around her, sometimes shaking his head at certain thoughts she had. We all kept our distance as best as possible.

"If you are persistently going to be in my head, can you not at least help me." She decreed to Edward one day.

"You know, I've had the same thought myself. I'm tempted to just do it myself, for all the grief you seem to emanate in it's wake." He huffed without looking up from his book.

"What does that mean? Does that mean you will help me?"

A play of emotions flashed quickly across his face. He looked to me like I could be the tie breaker in this decision. I had no resolve for him, for I didn't know the conflict. The flicker of understanding flashed in his eyes, and realization.

_Are you going to tell me? _I asked silently.

He slowly shook his head and look to our new companion. Something told me that it wouldn't make me happy to know. He nodded in agreement.

"Yes," he sighed. "I'll help."

My heart sunk, scared for the outcome and what would lead to it. Over the next week, Edward and Rosalie made several late night excursions. Only when Rosalie came in the house in a torn wedding dress did I come to know of their actions.

"I must say, I do not condone this, but I understand." Carlisle said solemnly when told of the actions.

I was speechless, I must have turned another shade of pale in light of the information. I sunk down at the thought of more unnecessary violence. Carlisle put his hand in mine in an act of reassurance.

"Rosalie, I do think you were owed your revenge, but in this manner, was it really the best way to handle it." Carlisle asked in the calm manner that sounded like he was scolding a child for something as simple as stealing a candy bar and not the cold blooded revenge she inacted.

"I'm sorry Carlisle," Rosalie said, "I had to, it would have torn me up inside if I had allowed it to fester in me any longer."

"Edward?" I said looking to him. "Is this what you didn't want to tell me?" He was turned away from Carlisle and myself who stood like a united front.

He sunk his head quietly in response. A small sound escaped Rosalie's voice as she stood there, not quite repentant, but still sorry for her actions.

"Esme, Carlisle, please don't look at us like that. I know very well how it hurt her. This would have never stopped tearing at her and eating her away. I don't want to say it _had_ to be done, but… Well they deserved a lot worse for what they did to her." Edward defended. "She was kinder than I would have, could have ever been."

"Be that as it may, this cannot be how we handle things." Carlisle said sounding concerned.

"It won't be." Rosalie said. "I will never harm another human again Carlisle. I promise."

He just nodded his head in agreement, a pact he hoped she would keep. I began to feel guilty for my prior behavior when I was still new to this life. Those people I killed, they didn't deserve any part of what I had done. I wasn't acting on revenge, only hunger, and in one place anger. I slowly retreated to office, hoping to clear my mind. Carlisle came in a few minutes later finding me with my head in a book about floor plans.

"Are you planning on building us a new house?" He asked smiling at me. The room seem to light up and warm for me when he entered.

"Wouldn't be the worst idea." I smiled at him, "Maybe make a padded room for the 'kids'."

He laughed at my suggestion.

"What is really on your mind my love?"

He could read right through me.

"I was thinking about Rosalie's actions. She acted on an emotion, she felt she acted in _her_ best interest. What about me. Did I ever act in my best interest? I was vicious. I was horrid" I said, many conflicted emotions confusing me.

"No. No Esme, you were new to this life, and you acted naturally, you…." He was without words for a minute. He couldn't comfort me when my words were the truth.

"You didn't behave that way." I said comparing myself to his actions several hundred years before.

"You, my love, are not me." I couldn't argue his logic in that. "As much a part of me as you are, you are your own person. You were young, and control is not an easy thing."

As an example from above we heard a hissing and yell. Then the sound of something being thrown and breaking. We were up the stairs in less than a second. Rosalie had a small end table in her hands, over her head ready to throw at Edward.

"What is going on here?" I asked angry that my furniture was being destroyed. "How you two can live with such a pompous …" Rosalie begun as Carlisle took the table from her.

"What happened?" I asked.

"She's over reacting." Edward explained calmly.

"I am not, you are worse than rabies."

I tried my best not to laugh at her insult.

"I'll keep that in mind when you need help again." Edward countered.

He was egging her on.

"I'll never need your help again you arrogant child." Rosalie went to grab for something and ripped off one of the supports for the banister.

"Oh very mature, destroy our house."

Rosalie pulled her arm back and threw the wooden support at Edward causing it to splinter all over the floor.

"Please, don't destroy the house." Carlisle said somehow finding calm in the situation. "Rosalie, would you like to go talk about this?"

I caught on to the game. Edward threw Carlisle a grateful glance. I hoped Rosalie hadn't seen it, or it would begin again. She stepped back and shook her head slightly, almost embarrassed.

"Or better yet, Rosalie. Why don't you and I go for a hunt?" I smiled at her. "I know I'm thirsty, it's been a little while for both of us. I think it might make us feel better."

She turned cautiously to me, and nodded without emotion. I hoped this would ease the tension for the moment.

Rosalie relaxed as we ran north through the heavily wooded area following the scent of a small herd of deer. We finished hunting and walked slowly back towards the town. I was hoping to be able to speak to her a bit on the way back, but I kept loosing my nerve. She took me by surprise when she turned to me and asked why we didn't just leave her to die.

"I wanted to die." She said forcefully.

"Carlisle, saw so much potential you had, and to him it was too much of a waste to let you die." I tired to reason with her.

"There was no point."

"Oh Rosalie, there was. You didn't deserve what happened to you."

"You may not realize this, but I did. I got exactly what I deserved."

I gave up after this. She was inconsolable, and I didn't have it in me to continue the fight with her. I began to see what Edward was dealing with. Things weren't any better when we arrived home, Rosalie did the best she could to pick a fight with Edward at every opportunity. Carlisle had our hands full keeping her mind occupied and Edward did his best to contain himself to his studies and speak little. Even that seemed to set her off. I sometimes wondered if Edward had egged her on in little ways knowing her thoughts, but I knew better. Carlisle and I decided a larger home might help. Giving them and us more space, more privacy. As it was we were living under each other's feet. Another concern was the houses in our once very quiet neighborhood were beginning to fill, and Rosalie's actions would draw much unwanted attention. I wanted to have a say this time in our house hunting venture. So Carlisle agreed when I told him I wanted to go with him. Carlisle had made arrangements at a hotel in Tennessee while we looked around. We decided to treat this opportunity like a vacation.

The Tennessee smoky mountain range had boasted some beautiful scenery with thick forests to hide in and maintain our privacy. An old plantation style house sat deep back in the woods practically abandoned. The for sale sign was rusted and faded like the house.. When we decided contacted the realtor company they almost didn't believe us. Carlisle had to repeat the address twice, because they didn't quite believe what he said.

"Sir I don't know what the interior is like." The agent said on the phone. "No one has even been in that house in…" the sound of rustling papers were heard in the background "it looks like twenty years."

"We don't mind a little fixing up." Carlisle told her smiling at me.

The deal was done in a few days, everything signed and the keys handed over. Now we had to return to Rochester, to the war at home. I wondered if our home back there was still standing.

________________________________________________________________________

**I'm sorry it's taking so long to get these out to you all. I've been working on another story for a friend, and I'm afraid inspiration had flown from me returning at will. So when I get a good idea of what I want I'll add more. Along with that, I have a fairly good plan for the next chapter, now it's just writing it all out. Thank you all very much for your comments and following of this story. It is greatly appreciated.**


	15. Chapter 15

"**Great. We are now moving to some backwoods, inbreed, hick country." Rosalie complained in the car behind Carlisle. "No good can come out of this. I know it." She kept up a constant string of complaints throughout the drive. "Oh and this humidity is messing up my hair."**

**Carlisle had long since given up trying to give any positive spin on the situation. He silently drove every so often turning the radio station and changing the volume. **

"**Thank gawd I don't have any cousins, I'd be forced to marry them, or even my brother for that matter." Rosalie continued. **

**I tried to drown it out too and focused on Carlisle who seemed to be doing rather well at it. He kept his face strait forward never wavering from the road. I looked back pretending to check on the trailer we were towing instead I looked directly at Edward who drove behind us, he wore a smile like the cat who got away. **

_**You can take her the rest of the way**_**. I said in my head looking at him. He just shook his head in response and sang along with the music. We drove down several twisting winding roads that led the way. I was getting anxious as we got closer to our final destination. The air smelled heavy and sweet and the warm summer intensified it. I hoped the grand stature and beauty of the house would appeal to Rosalie if nothing else. We were far enough out of town that the sunny days wouldn't be a problem, and there were no neighbors for miles out. I sighed and thought all the better, no one would hear Rosalie screaming at Edward.**

**We pulled up in front of the two story plantation house. It had four long thick beams from the bottom front porch to the second porch on that level and from there to the roof overhang. The paint had been peeling off for who knows how long. I wondered how long it was going to take me to sand the beams down on their own, when Rosalie interrupted my thoughts.**

"**This is where we're living?" She said in an indignant tone. "My god this is a joke right. What's the inside like, is it even intact? I think Dracula had a better set up." **

"**To be honest we didn't do a lot of uh… interior research." Carlisle admitted abashedly.**

"**I checked the foundation though, everything is very safe, sturdy." I smiled.**

**I walked up the few wide steps and opened the door. A large grand stair case met us to the left sitting just behind a wide archway that led into a large sitting room. Carlisle and I hadn't really checked the upstairs when we were here last time, there really was no excuse for it. We'd only gone up once to explore the five large bedrooms and small loft above that. **

"**Nothing too bad." I said at the wall paper that was coming off. The floor needed sanded and refinished some replaced. There was no buckling or bending of the boards, that was a good start. I opened the door to show the inside, even if the floor boards needed replaced or repaired it was still a wonderful old house.**

"**The whole thing needs redone." Rosalie huffed looking around.**

"**No not quite," I smiled "mainly just the floors need replaced, and the wall either repainted or wall papered, maybe you could help me with that. Help me pick it all out."**

**I saw the look in Edwards eyes, wary but understanding.**

**Rosalie walked in behind me and looked around. She put her hand on the banister with a little force causing it to crumble.**

"**Oh my." I stepped back.**

"**At least we still have the upstairs." She said looking up.**

"**It's okay it's an easy fix." Carlisle smiled. "We'll have to take a trip to the lumber yard soon."**

"**Oh and the auto garage." Edward broke in. "My car was making an odd ticking noise."**

**Rosalie got a look on her face, that was something akin to curiosity.**

"**Maybe I could… look at it, and figure it out." She said "Was it a quick ticking like tsk tsk tsk."**

"**No more when I turn."**

"**Like click click click click." She said mimicking the noise.**

**He furrowed his brow and tilted his head.**

"**Yeah exactly." He shook his head. "How'd you know."**

"**I heard it. It's your C-V joint." She said like it was nothing.**

"**How do you know that." Carlisle asked impressed.**

"**I've been reading the manuals. It interests me." She admitted like it was nothing. "I might be able to fix it for you." **

**We immediately got to work tearing out the old floor boards to burn later. Many things over the years had been lost, old shoes, a dolly and even an old bond worth a few hundred dollars.**

"**Looks like we got some of our money back." Carlisle joked.**

"**May I have the doll?" Rosalie asked me later.**

"**Of course, but why?"**

**She stared intently at the little toy.**

"**I used to have one just like it." She said gingerly taking it from me.**

**I smiled and returned to my new task of stripping the wall paper.**

"**How bad are the bedrooms?" Edward asked.**

**I thought about the large open rooms with lots of light, and then how safe the stairs were to go up them.**

"**Yeah, maybe I'll rebuild the stairs first thing tomorrow." Edward said returning to wood floor removal in the large living room.**

**We had a growing pile in the yard and very little was salvageable. I wondered if some of those boards could be reused as the stairs.**

"**I don't think that would be a good idea Esme." Edward said coming back in. "We need fresh wood, especially for something as integral as the staircase."**

"**I agree, it was an errant thought. We should probably recheck the structural beams. They seems fine, but…." I trailed off as I finished with the hall way wall. **

**I considered how long it would take four humans to do this task, we were half done with the first floor within in two days, but we had strength and speed on our side. The floors were ripped out and the main walls were stripped. I was considering tearing down one wall between the kitchen and dining room, as it wasn't load bearing wall and it would open it up and allow more light. The bedroom that would be mine and Carlisle's was on the upper floor leaving the lower one for Edward and keeping Rosalie upstairs near us. Edward would have his own private study, as would Rosalie.**

"**So I get the giant room upstairs?" Rosalie asked happily.**

**Carlisle smiled and nodded.**

"**It's completely yours. You can pick everything out make it your home."**

"**Really?" She smiled and hugged him. He returned the hug one armed the other with a paint brush in it. It was the first time she had shown any of us any kind of affection. She then rushed over to my side. "Esme, you must help me. Will you please?"**

"**Of course." I said surprised at her reaction.**

**We had finally finished the interior of the house. Taking us almost a month to complete. All new pine floors were laid throughout the down stairs and now cherry wood replaced the dilapidated balsa wood that was the steps. The wall between the kitchen and dining room was now gone allowing for a more open lighted look. It was wall papered with light pale beige roses and green vines winding through. In the living room several of the small windows had to be replaced now they featured wide white frames with thick white curtains and green embroidered flowers up the sides. I had painted in a light yellow with white border edged in hunter green . A large fireplace on the eastern wall was enclosed with a giant mantle and flanked by posts from floor to ceiling. The living room opened into a grand sunroom to the north collecting light throughout the day, large shutters on the inside flowed smoothly with the wall for privacy. Not that that was much of a problem surrounded in this forest. I had decided to keep my and Carlisle's room simple in light blue tones. A large bed filled the back wall layered in beige and dark blue blankets I had made before we moved. I adored the home we had left, but this house had afforded us more space and a little more peace of mind. **

**Edwards' piano came in a week after the floor was finished, we placed it in the second smaller dining room. Edward said it had a good reverb in there for playing, and Rosalie agreed it sounded nice in there as well. She even went so far as to compliment Edward on his playing after he'd finished tuning the piano. The whole move seemed to turn out better than I ever could have thought. Rosalie was easing up on all of us, Edward seemed less stressed, and I couldn't be happier with how the house turned out when we were completely finished. It took us a little while but now the entire home seemed to be like a diamond in the rough. It sat in the dark of the woods, a little jewel, a glistening light in the deep green surroundings. I wondered what other powers this home held.**


	16. Chapter 16

**There was a bountiful forest surrounding us in all directions, plenty of food when we were thirsty and no neighbors for miles. The closest was a man who Carlisle had once worked with at the mine. It was rare that we ever re-encountered people from before. We avoided that area in hopes we wouldn't cross paths in any case, other than that we were completely secluded.**

**Edward had his studies as usual, and Rosalie found she rather liked working on the vehicles. She had expressed to us a desire to put an entire car together by herself one evening while we were talking about interests. I was surprised and impressed. I was slightly in wonder at the thought of her undertaking something so daunting, but I figured it as something else to keep her mind on. Early one morning Carlisle and Edward returned from a hunt with a half smashed deep blue remnants of an automobile. **

"**What on heaven and earth is that thing?" I asked looking over the wreckage.**

"**I'm not sure." Carlisle admitted with a sparkle in his handsome eyes. He looked like a young boy with a secret from his parents. I couldn't help but stare up at him. "Edward and I thought it would keep Rosalie busy."**

"**An entertainment of sorts. We think it was once a car." Edward admitted with a crooked smile.. **

**Rosalie was in the yard before Edward has finished his sentence looking between the three of us.**

"**Entertainment?" She hedged.**

"**Well it's something you mentioned you were interested in." I suggested. "Carlisle and I thought you might like to repair it to it's former state." Edward offered.**

**Rosalie walked around it as if she was stalking her prey. I glanced from Edward to Rosalie trying to feel the atmosphere as it was. She looked up with a smile and gleam in her eyes. **

"**It's amazing. It's a DeSoto. That is I think it is. A 1929. It looks similar to one my father had. It was the first year they came out." **

**The front in was smashed in wrapping the grill backward and one headlight under the wheel well. The sidelights were dangling near the runner that was itself smashed against the driver door, preventing it from opening. The windows were shattered and the mirror was missing. Rosalie pried the door open causing the runner to fall on the ground. She let out an huff as she surveyed the interior, stepping over the fallen runner. The back was fine save for the glass shattered over, but the front would need to be completely replaced. The entire steering column would need to be pulled out and repaired as well. Rosalie relayed all this to me later when she asked if I could assist her in rebuilding the front seat. I told her of course I would help and let her give me specific instructions on what needed to be done.**

**At the first opportunity offered to me, I pulled Edward aside and told him I was proud of him for doing this for Rosalie.**

"**She means well, but she doesn't know where she is yet with all of this. It's a lot to take in. It is very much upsetting to her. Hopefully this will serve to focus her mind for a while, and give her some enjoyment as well." He explained.**

"**Regardless Edward, it was a very kind and selfless thing." I hugged him and returned my current project helping Rosalie. **

**Within a few days Rosalie had the entire frame straightened out the doors were off and waiting to be straightened as well sitting in the corner of the small car port. I had offered several times to assist her, but she was adamant that she wanted to do it on her own. She was insistent that I was helping more than enough by sewing the seats for her. I was grateful for the Sears catalogue, it happened to have the material she needed and I ordered a new heavy duty sewing machine from it as well. I marveled at the houses they were putting out now. I remembered when they began the campaign for Sears homes, I thought sears couldn't offer more, and here they were sending out houses in kits. The floor plans were functional and exceedingly simple for my taste. Still they had a nice symmetrical quality about them.**

**By the end of the week Rosalie had completed the entire car. She was driving it through the back roads every evening after sunset. She took me with her one night, whipping through the roads she smiled at the rush and freedom. She was enjoying herself completely. I was enjoying her happiness. **

"**This is almost as fun as shopping." She smiled turning through a corner dangerously close to a fir pine.**

"**I don't think I've ever gone this fast in my life." I smiled holding tighter.**

**Everything was calming down at home, It was becoming a more relaxing atmosphere. Edward barely left the house at all anymore and the second the sun was down Rosalie was gone once more. She had been gone all night as usual and when the morning was overcast and heavy, I accepted the fact that she may spend the day gone as well. I knew full well she was enjoying her freedom, none of us wished to hinder her. When she burst the kitchen door holding a large man in her arms I feared the worst, that she'd finally caved into her primal drive. I saw he was torn practically in two, a jagged cut tore down his left arm and over his chest.**

"**Carlisle. Please." She cried out.**

"**Bring him here." I said moving everything from the counter. **

**Rosalie brought him over and set him tenderly on the cleared surface. Carlisle was there immediately. **

"**What happened?" He asked as he looked over him while checking his pulse.**

**The man was young. His light eyes searched the room landing on Rosalie's face before closing. He gave a half smile. **

"**He was being attacked by a bear." Rosalie whined holding his hand. "Please Carlisle can't you do something."**

**Carlisle looked between all of us. Edward stood silent in the corner, a concerned look on his face.**

"**He doesn't have much time left." Carlisle said quietly.**

"**Can you change him, something. Please Carlisle. Don't let him die. Please for me." **

**I saw the pleading in her eyes. Carlisle's look went from deep concern to immediate determination. I tried to pull Rosalie out of the room but she refused. Edward left with me, knowing it would all be too much for me.**

"**Edward are you alright?" I asked once we were outside with plenty of fresh air.**

"**Yes, I'm fine." He took in a deep breath. "I just wonder at the mentality of a man who was fighting a bear."**

**A scream erupted from in the house low and agonizing. I shuddered at the familiar sound and wrapped my arm around Edward before walking back into the house.**

**______________________________________________________________**

****Note the Chrysler DeSoto had actually appeared in August of 1928, but that probably wouldn't be common knowledge unless you followed vehicle output.**

**Also Sears Roebuck and Company featured homes in their catalogue for thirty-two years 1908 to 1940. You could order a home, and everything was shipped to you, all you had to do was put it together. In the beginning you had to get your own timber, but you can look all that up yourself.**


	17. Chapter 17

I watched as Edward tutored Emmet in our lives, and Carlisle's philosophies of peace. Rosalie was there the entire way as well, she always seemed to be smiling up at Emmett, and he back at her. I noticed the look in her eyes, always seemed willing to help him and take time out for him. She had even invited him to help her with her car, a project she had kept us out of, save for my sewing of the seats. I thought he was helping her tinker with it, but apparently he just made access easier.

One bright afternoon I was walking down the stairs as Edward was coming up with a sly smile on his face.

"You seem happy." I smiled at him.

"More the irony than anything else." He shook his head that sparkled in the light.

I cocked my head to the side, confused.

"She was letting him drive the car on their last outing." He chuckled darkly. "He was thinking about it when I passed him."

I was surprised considering she would barely let us touch the automobile. Edward nodded in concurrence.

"Exactly." He lost his handsome boyish grin and headed up the stairs.

I headed thorough the living room into the bright sunroom and library

"Esme."

I heard a deep voice calling for me. I knew it wasn't Carlisle.

"Esme?" Rosalie's voice called out next.

"I'm in the sunroom."

Emmett and Rosalie walked into the room where I was now reading. She had a pensive look on her face.

"Yes?" I smiled.

"Uh.. Well uhm I was wondering…" She stuttered nervously like a child. Something she never did.

"Can Rosie take me hunting." He smiled innocently.

"Well I don't see why not. You know the rules Rosalie." I said looking to her.

She nodded. "As do you Emmett." He nodded too

"Yes Esme. I'll be …. We'll be very careful." She smiled taking his hand and leaving.

A few moments later Carlisle came in holding an old book.

"She seems happy." He mused replacing it on the shelf.

I nodded in agreement smiling at the thought of her improved attitude. Carlisle walked over to me gently plucking the magazine from my hands and pulling me into an embrace.

"Just a reminder, you make me very happy too." He kissed me deeply.

"Thank you Carlisle. For everything. You make me very happy too. I love you."

Late that evening while I was working on a new floor plan design, I heard Edward rush down the stairs, making more noise then usual.

"This isn't good is it?" I said looking at the expression on his face.

He simply shook his head.

"Don't be mad." He said quietly. "It was an accident. A _stupid _accident, nothing more."

I nodded in agreement, not knowing Edward to hold back when there was a real concern. Rosalie ran through the door Emmet trailing slowly behind her, almost dragging his feet. He looked like he was a school boy going to be scolded by an overbearing teacher, twisting his long fingers in nervousness.

"Oh Esme I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for it to-- I -- It wasn't." She stuttered and stumbled over her words before Emmett broke in.

"Esme, it's my fault." He stepped forward.

I glanced over to Edward from the corner of my eye.

_Will we have to leave? _He nodded silently meeting my eyes and silent query.

"I was being immature and stupid." He continued not meeting my eye.

"The problem now is the people that saw what you did Emmett." Edward spoke up.

Emmett nodded in embarrassment. You could almost see a blush of regret.

"They'd know no human could do that, at least not in normal circumstances." Edward chided gently through his clenched teeth.

Rosalie threw him a hate filled glance. It was the same look she gave him when he had corrected her before. I tried to ignore it.

"We'll leave as soon as Carlisle returns from his hunt." I said quietly looking around.

"Damn it, and I really liked this place." Rosalie huffed looking around.

"Me too." I said quietly. We weren't even here that long this time, I thought as I took in the art work on the wall, and collection of books. I mused quietly to myself that maybe we could come back here one day.

"Rosalie," I asked quietly, "what happened to your car? I didn't hear it when you returned."

She ducked her head and looked up towards me clearly embarrassed.

"It's my fault Esme." Emmett stepped forward again. "I got over excited showing off and ran. I hit the car sending it into a ravine. There were a couple people and well, we got out of there fast."

"The people saw us." Rosalie said quietly.

"I'm so sorry Rose." He said turning to her.

"Don't worry about it. We'll take care of it." She said staring up at him.

I turned to Edward and asked him silently; _Did he really learn or will this be a problem?_

"He learned, he feels horrible, he's just young. You remember what it was like not to be able to control yourself. That's where he's at. Rosalie is just getting there. He's helped her a lot more than she shows."

I knew very well that we'd moved quickly before, but I was hoping this would be better, we were away from the general populous, we were secluded, and had more freedom. Maybe that had been our downfall, the freedom. We changed Emmett in hopes of helping Rosalie, in her pleas for his life, I almost worry it made her worse. She had been kinder to Edward in general, but Emmet's impulsiveness may be a problem. Edward told me he had a good heart, but not necessarily a good head on his shoulders. I hoped that would change in the coming months.

We were once again relocating. I was intrigued as to the location. It was a small town in western Washington state, a newer settlement mainly a logging community. The towns history hadn't even stretched to a century yet, it was young in that manner. There was plenty of land to purchase Edward told us, something Carlisle had taken the liberty of doing. The town was also sat above a small harbor, of varying colors, and an inlet of water much of the surface was covered with floating wood for the timber export, with a thin flow between the banks.

The six acre chunk of land that Carlisle had purchased had been stripped of trees, something Emmet offered to rectify for us all. We liked the natural barrier from the world, we'd grown accustomed to it. Edward, Carlisle and Emmet Cleared the land of the stumps left behind, while Rosalie and I added on to the two bed-roomed farm house. She requested a bedroom far from Edward, which we obliged in the design. We added a second floor while the boys replanted almost full grown fir and northwest pine trees. The immediate area around the house was enclosed allowing limited visual access, and therefore increased privacy. It was perfect.

With the house finished and only the landscaping to complete, we decided to it was time to explore the region a bit more. Edward and I stayed behind as Carlisle took Rosalie and Emmet hunting up north. When they returned I could barely believe what they relayed.

"We didn't realize we were on their land when we were found." Carlisle explained. "They knew what exactly we were, they had legends about those who proceeded us. They were quite intrigued by our eyes. Their legends told only of the red eyed, 'cold ones', they didn't know what to think of us. We were met with the heads of the Quileute tribe, Chief Black and Quil Atera they called themselves there was one other who said nothing. When I told them of our philosophy dedicated to harm no one, but help and how we didn't hunt humans, they declared a peace. We would be required to stay off their lands, and they wouldn't kill us. They won't say anything to the locals either, so long as we stay off their land."

"How could they kills us?" I asked knowing that we were virtually indestructible.

Edwards eyes got wide, and he exclaimed.

"That is new one."

"Yes," Carlisle agreed "They can shift into these _massive _wolves. They are made precisely for tearing 'us' to shreds."

A shiver went down my spine at that thought.

"Should we leave?" I asked nervous to see what would happen next.

Carlisle shook his head.

"Not at all my love, we'll be fine. We just need to respect them, and they will _ignore_ us."

We all settled in, Carlisle found a job working swing shifts at the local clinic, As Edward continued his 'send away' education. Local elementary schools were beginning to crop up, but as many kids were done with school by twelve and the town was still quite small, they didn't have much in the way of higher education here. I found a vocation as a seamstress being much needed here. We built a small _windowless_ shop for people to come with their items for repair. Rosalie and Emmet became more intimate and Carlisle and I were happy to see her in a higher form of contentment. We all kept on guard, trying to appease the Quileute leaders and honor our end of the treaty. This was an entirely new situation to all of us, and we didn't want it to end badly.

There seemed to be something everywhere now, since the news was more readily available via newspaper and radio. Amelia Earheart had recently disappeared and no one had found her. Her radio transmission had cut short and the was the last they knew, search efforts had found nothing. Germany's pot seemed to be boiling, while the Spanish civil war was anything but. A new raid in Shanghai, and Russia's 'great purge' added to the needless loss of life. Here at home, Rosalie snapped at Edward over little things, while Emmett helped to scale her behavior back. Our little war in our home seemed so minor compared to the current world events. I suggested she and I head north for a while, see something new, escape for a little while.

"How far north?" Rosalie asked with an interested smile.

"As far as you want to go. Have you ever been to Alaska, or Antarctica?"

"Ohh the frozen tundra Rosie." Emmett joked. "I'll take one penguin please."

"That actually sounds like it could be entertaining." She replied. "I could take some pictures with the camera, Emmett got me."

"It's a plan then."

"And I'll bring you back a penguin." Rosalie told Emmett.

* * *

** Thank you Cassie

cassiek: umm they were fighting and they ran fast idk lol

cassie k: or he lifted up somethin huge

mizmanet: that one would work, he was out with Rose... so no fighting...

cassie k: ya true but he was also being immature idk lol

mizmanet: but I like the lifting one

mizmanet: yeah, showing off

cassie k: ya

mizmanet: i like it

**Are the "Cold Ones" from Twilight a real Quileute legend?**

No. There are no Quileute legends about "Cold Ones" or other vampires. Stephenie Meyer, the author of the "Twilight" books, has stated that she made this fictional vampire legend up herself and only had her Quileute character tell it for the purposes of her plot. However, she did base other parts of her books on real Quileute mythology. For example, it is true that according to legend the Quileute tribe is descended from wolves who were changed into men. Even the tribal name "Quileute" comes from their word for wolf, Kwoli

From: 

Side note: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it. I don't know when the next one will be up, probably after Thanksgiving. Thank you all SOO much for reading it and for so many wonderful reviews. I appreciate it all so very much.

Have a great Holiday everyone J

PS. Sorry I had to re-edit/upload after someone was kind enough to point out some mistakes. I guess that teach me to write/edit after German lessons and pain medication!!


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